


{insert title here} chara x flowey

by goatfacestrontium



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: a lil depressing, hm, i don't understand how tags work so eh, i think i ship it too hard., not good at all, poor chara :((, probably gonna have ~feelings~, ptsd!flowey i think. if that's a thing. heh it is now, really gory stuff but no smut if that worries you, this might miiight trigger but prolly not, uh.. you'll have a bad time. sans is a grumpy bastard in this.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-07-24 06:04:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 31,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7496769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goatfacestrontium/pseuds/goatfacestrontium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>okay! had this pretty much planned out in my head for a while now..<br/>chara and flowey! eee<br/>neither are truly truly evil in this fic. (but i guess they still are..)<br/>from flowey's pov :D<br/>they're on the surface now. frisk, flowey, toriel, sans and asgore all live in one house, i guess.<br/>eh.<br/>please don't be put off by the number of chapters! (i say this 'cause i usually skip over long ones...)<br/>they're REALLY REALLY short.<br/>;))</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> as with literally everything i write, it's usually done late a night, half asleep..  
> so i'm gonna clean my stuff up and put it here.  
> apologies in advance for not keeping up with it or it being shit.  
> oh, and it won't be pretty and formatted either. sorry~  
> okay. the first bit.  
> good luck~

The days after the monsters returned to the surface were full of chaos, but all of that has calmed down now. Frisk is gradually getting used to their culture again and we are all living mostly peaceful lives. It's a little boring, but I'll never let the resident trashbag know I enjoy it. Sun is good for a plant like me.  
Sometimes, at night, I'll remember Asriel's past and wonder if me being up here is really the best idea.  
At those times I'll wonder when Chara will make her next appearance. Our life up here could be erased at any moment.  
Since she could inhabit Frisk's body at any time in the Underground, I often spend sleepless days hoping for some sign of her soul being alive up here too.  
She might not have been the best person or friend to me, but it can't change the fact that Chara was our only and therefore best companion.

Cold. Tired. I keep having nightmares.  
Frisk stirs in their sleep. Are they scared too?  
They sit up and gradually open their eyes. A flush creeps into their cheeks. A slight smile tugs at the corners of their lips.  
"Is this the right timeline?" They twist their head mechanically and their eyes glint like a sharp edge when they meet mine.  
Chara.  
"Greetings. It's been a while, partner." Their voice, even coming from Frisk's body, sounds the same as it always had. Hoarse and high pitched, like a child, but neither of us are really children anymore, are we?  
Stunned, I nod. How has she gotten here? More importantly.. why?  
"I hope you have been busy."  
Silence hangs heavy in the air.  
"How are you on the surface?" I whisper.  
I hope that this encounter isn't a dream.  
"I've told you twenty six times already." Her smile grows then falls with a short bark of humour. It seems sinister, and I understand in a moment that she'll urge Frisk to reset soon.  
"Remind me."  
"The barrier was broken while I was inside the human. I have no physical existence. I would be able to escape anyway." She speaks quickly, as if the words flow naturally from her mouth. "I now travel through different realities when I'm called upon." She adjusts the green spotted ribbon Frisk wrapped around my pot.  
"Why visit here?"  
"What an inquisitive plant," She coos, moving closer to the bedside table. "You and Asriel really are the same now."  
I hate both of these remarks. Even if I've been longing for her company, Chara is still as twisted as ever. My face seems to reflect this, causing her to laugh again.  
"It's a complement, Flowey. You have my brother's soul." She smirks. "Then again.."  
She pretends to study me with an intensity that makes me fearful. Chara's eyes, even on Frisk, have deep red irises, flecked with gold.  
It's curious how Frisk's face changes when controlled by this demon.  
"You're far better to play with than Asriel. He was too shy. Me and you, we could rule this world."  
Having no idea what to do, I shrink back a little. After having so much practice and resets in the past, unfamiliar situations leave me confused. I hate the sensation.  
"In fact, on the one hundred and twelfth reset we do. But that one is different to the others. In this one, Flowey, you abandon me."  
"I woul-"  
"You betray me."  
"Can't it chan-"  
"You leave me for dead. Fortunately, I don't hold grudges."  
Doesn't hold grudges?! What about the whole human race, huh? Surely she knows that this version of me would never do those things?  
Never to her.  
Chara carefully reaches into Frisk's woollen sleeve and extracts a real knife. The pasty orange glow from sodium bulbs outside glints from ridges along the serrated edge.  
I can feel a cold sweat form at the base of my head. A fleeting memory of the pain fights for attention, pushing at the inside of my skull.  
Chara inspects it, seeming mesmerized until she suddenly snaps her neck up, looking me in the eye again. Although there is little light, her pupils are small.  
"I came to visit. Even you can be predicted, my flower." She pouts, placing the weapon down precisely, meticulously, beside my pot.  
"Who said I was yours?!" I snap, instantly regretting my reaction. That's just what she wants.  
"You certainty are cute when you're angry, Flowey." She smirks, teasing.  
Through habit a few bullets spring from my soil, but I let them fall. She knows just as well as I do that I'd never bring myself to kill again.  
"What will you say next," she hums, a knowing flash crossing her eyes.  
"You tell me," I retort. I'm sure this whole situation is already planned out by her keen mind, but I really no longer care.  
"That would spoil the fun, would it not?" She puts on a look of pitiful confusion, reaching out to feel my petals. I recoil. She's not touching me after drawing a knife. I'm not stupid.  
"Why so cold? I would never hurt you."  
"Golly, I forgot you were such a pacifist. May I remind you that I'm a plant, thanks to your idiotic plans."  
I don't mean to act this defensive, nor do I want to, but I guess I'm just afraid of her capabilities. I've been on the end of her wrath more than once.  
"You've told me." The girl states this simply.  
"I know."  
"Asriel hated to be pet too."  
"I know."  
"The king was abysmal at naming things. It must've rubbed off on you, Flowey the flower."  
She's mocking me. I fight the urge to insult her there and then.  
"Is awful at naming things. Asgore's alive."  
"Of course. I must be getting ahead of myself there." Before I can interject, she lifts a tiny hand above my head and lowers her voice. "May I?"  
I tremble. How could I refuse, after all this time of pining away for a familiar touch..  
Her hand seems to hesitate before pinching one of my petals delicately with her forefinger and thumb. The texture of human skin is wonderfully new and peculiar.  
The witty expression on Chara's face changes to a nostalgic misery, as if in that one gesture of affection she had distanced herself from both of her worlds.  
Naturally, I abandon the idea that she has any meaningful feelings aside from bloodlust. After all, isn't that all she is anyway?  
I don't flinch when Chara brings Frisk's hands over my head, smoothing back my petals.  
"A golden flower," she sighs, stroking my head. It's odd, but at the same time I'm intrigued. I've never seen Asriel's sister like this. At least, I don't remember it, and that's as good as new.  
She lets out her pent up breath and looks down at me, patting gently.  
"When I came up with the plan to let monsters free, Asriel refused. He wouldn't let me hurt myself. I assured him that poisoning myself wouldn't hurt, and he finally agreed. Do you remember that?"  
I nod. I'd never forgotten anything from that life, even when I want to.  
"Then let me tell you, petal. It wasn't painless. I couldn't cry. I couldn't smile. It felt like.. liquid fire was spreading in my stomach. My face and mouth and throat were completely blistered. I couldn't drink to relieve the burning." Her voice turns bitter and sharp.  
Her hand stops moving and when I look up, Chara is blinking back tears with her face twisted in disapproval. I guess this part never changes.  
"The only words I spoke after eating those buttercups were how you came to be."  
I can recall the scene with clarity. 

A tiny human is wrapped in damp blankets. I can't quite grasp that the trembling, timid child in there is my sister. It just doesn't fit. Mom ushers me out of the bedroom, but I secretly listen, my head pushed against the door. Incense smoke drifts through the hall to mask the smell of death. "You can't give up! You are the future of humans and monsters!" My dad's voice cracked a little. In the past few days he'd been begging my sister to have Determination, that everything will be alright. He'd sit with her day and night, cupping her frail hands in his own. When he left our room to snatch a few hours of sleep, Mom took his place. I've been sleeping in the living room. Yesterday I wished that they'd stop prolonging my sister's pain; this was all part of our plan, and I hated to lie to my parents. I hope they'll forgive us when we're free.  
I heard her choked request, but there was nothing we could do.  
I promised her that I wouldn't cry, but I've always been a crybaby.

"You know he tried everything," I speak.  
"I know. So when we joined souls, I had to.. Don't you understand? I'm sorry for carrying my body up. For making you into this."  
Asriel felt no sense of regret from her soul when they joined. But maybe now, after all this time..? She seems sincere enough. Then again, Chara is an expert in trickery.  
"It was Alphys' fault. She wouldn't help me."  
Chara falls silent. She continues after a moment searching for her options.  
"We're the same, you and I."  
"Really."  
The girl's eyebrows knit together and she glances away, as if hurt. "I haven't felt anything since I died."  
"Me either."  
"For a long time I thought that LOVE would make me feel love. But the only thing that it did was make me more distanced."  
I relate to this. I kept resetting because I was lonely. I kept resetting so nobody would really get hurt. I say nothing, because she'll already know.  
"Only we know what it's like," Chara muses, rolling her shoulders. "This emptiness. That's why we are partners."  
A loud car skids along the tarmac outside. Even though it has probably happened hundreds of times, she flinches at the harsh sound.  
"That's true." I give in. "I did try, y'know..to feel something, but nothing- you've already heard this, haven't you?"  
A vaguely troubled look crosses her face, but fades quickly.  
Rain hammers against the window.  
Chara's face moves closer to mine. Her nose is centimetres away from me. I can feel the warmth from her skin.  
With her voice barley audible, she whispers. "Do you smell like the flowers in the old village's field?"  
"Surprisingly, I wouldn't know," I spit sarcastically, uncomfortable at this sudden hidden request. Without warning, she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.  
I watch as patterns through the net curtain dance across her face, trying hard not to react. I watch as her eyelids flutter. They open.  
Chara smiles a little, sadly. "Yes."  
I didn't know it was possible for a plant, but I can feel myself blushing too.  
"Y-you already knew."  
She shakes her head. Frisk's curls sway with the motion. "Not this time. This is the first time you've stayed still. One time," She smirks and a chirp of laughter breaks her hushed voice, "You pinned me and tried to kill me."  
This is odd. Could this really be the reason she came back to this one spot in time? To sniff me? It's even creepier than it sounds.  
Time shifts on, each of us just acknowledging the other's presence in dead, still, air.  
"Chara," I speak slowly, with caution. There's no telling what she'll do after those unpredictable actions.  
"Yes."  
"Why are you really here?" These sorts of questions can turn bad very quickly. Asriel's sibling never liked to talk about herself.  
She sighs inwardly. Her mouth opens to talk, but clamps it seconds after. "I am here, Flowey, because this is likely the only chance I'll ever see you again."  
"Why?" I shiver. So soon? Is this revenge for the things I've done..?  
Chara averts her dark brown eyes. "No other place works for visiting in the whole timeline. Every time you get to the surface, this is the place I see you. I can't change it. But. Soon after this, Sans will wake up and sense my presence."  
I don't want her to go. It's not fair! It's not-  
"How long?"  
"Until dawn. Sans wakes up early because he's a light and troubled sleeper. "  
"He knows all about us," I whisper. I feel my mouth form a grim smile. There's nothing funny. It's a habit I've been unable to shake when talking about that skeleton.  
"I'd tell you the rest, but that would spoil your ending." She smiles mischievously, peering up at me through Frisk's hair. White teeth flash against their tanned skin.  
"I'm not looking forward to it," My voice emerges more pathetic than I'd intended.  
Shuffling forward, the child looks at me with a pitiful expression. Seeming to finish calculating something, she reaches out.  
"My flower," Chara talks soothingly, stroking my petals. I don't flinch or tense this time. It feels like the way Toriel would rub Asriel's fur as he drifted to sleep.  
"You have a life to live again. You will learn to accept your and Asriel's past." Her eyes water slightly but her other features give no sign of sadness. I carefully wrap a vine around her hand. I'm sure the barbs won't harm her defence, but I don't want any evidence left on Frisk.  
She smiles again, avoiding my eyes. This time, an honest, secure smile. The type that restores hope, and lets you know that things are just as they should be. "Even though you might not feel now.. You will learn. However. For now.." she glances out of the gap in the purple curtains, at the pink, warming sunrise.  
"I have to go, partner." Her voice drips with regret.  
"Chara, don't leave again, I-" I tighten my grip, knowing it will do nothing to stop these events in any of her visits.  
She tips my face up with her forefinger, towards the hazy sunlight, and lightly kisses my forehead. An electric chill runs down my stem. I feel like running away. My petals are shaking.  
I don't understand it..but..at the same time, I'm comforted a little by it.  
All those resets must have told her all she needed. As if reading my thoughts, Chara whispers reassuringly, more quietly this time. "You'll find love again, petal."  
Her eyes close and a thin hint of a smile passes her lips, only to dissipate so quickly I could have been imaging it.  
"Chara..!"

But nobody came.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i guess i should stop my not-at-all-canon-headcanons  
> but i don't really care that much.  
> hm..  
> unfortunately i have to choose between usiing italics or having it all as one chunk of text..  
> so i hope you make sense of papyrus.   
> *shrug*  
> thanks for reading.  
> this is nowhere near the end.

Frisk's head flops onto the pillow with a soft thud. The sound of shuffling footsteps brings me back to the present. Sans, with a serious look etched onto his skull, bursts into the still room. He catches sight of the sleeping human and the blue magic in his left eye dissipates.  
"Huh, Could've sworn I heard.."  
"What? You have no ears, bonehead."  
The skeleton shrugs at me. "Pardon?"  
Sans goes to leave but turns on his heel to look at me again. "You, uh, been eating chilli?" he winks.  
I must still be blushing. "That'd be cannibalism, stupid."  
"Like that'd stop you," he smirks. He's right.  
"Whatever. I'm making breakfast." He yawns, stretches, and grumbles out of the bedroom.  
All that's left of Chara here is the warmth from her skin and the smell of buttercups that lingers around me, like some bizarre, mythical enchantment. I twist to watch the sun break through the horizon, and notice the knife that lay near my pot. She left it to remind me. How many tries did it take to work out the best position to hide it from Sans? I retract my vine, still hanging over the table, curled in the perfect position to fit around Frisk's soft hands.  
The clouds clear. Bright light fills the room.  
I close my eyes.  
It's not fair. After so long, and she disappeared.. Is this what Toriel and Asgore felt like when we died?  
Is this the "love" I've been waiting for? I don't want it anymore! I don't want it..!  
My eyes are watering. Droplets soak into my dirt. What is it?  
I hear a faint tapping. I ignore it.  
"Flowey."  
Frisk speaks, disjointed and half asleep. Not at all like the keen soul that possessed them moments ago.  
"Are you..crying?" Their voice rises and falls at peculiar places, but their concern is still clear. Poor, stupid, children, aren't we?  
"No, idiot."  
"..your soul, crying."  
"I have no soul, remember?" They pat my pot, forcing me to whip around and read their signals.  
"No. I have no soul, okay? You know that."  
I sigh inwardly. I just have the little Determination that keeps Asriel's dead one alive.  
I wish I could let go, but part of me that used to care refuses to let me make that choice.  
"Are you. Hungry?"  
"No."  
"You look sad."  
Isn't this kid a genius? I'd never tell them if I was, anyway. I rise up out of the pot and pull the most disturbing face I can think of without putting in too much effort. It's too early to be having this conversation. Or any conversation, actually.  
The thought of becoming a god crosses my mind, but that is definitely not a good idea.  
Asriel wouldn't want that, and I'm not living with any more guilt.  
Snapping me back to reality is Frisk's small, round face blinking back at me.  
"Come on." They talk, picking me up with both arms and trundling down the stairs.  
I hiss. "Leave me here! Put me down!"  
They never listen.  
Seeing their face only reminds me of Chara and the things I've done. I hate them more than my miserable existence as a house plant.

"Morning kiddo," Sans waves, swigging from a bottle of ketchup. It repulses me, for some reason.  
"Morning," Frisk signs after putting me at the end of the table.  
"You wan' something to eat, kid?"  
They bob their head up and down.  
He groans as he stands, putting a hand to his breastbone through his hoodie, and shuffles into the kitchen.  
That scar stayed with him from that dreadful battle he had with Chara.  
I told her not to.. but I was being selfish at the time. I just didn't want to die. that makes me as bad as her.  
I guess since Sans'd tampered with that old machine of Gaster's, lots about the resetting process didn't affect him.  
Of course, I wouldn't know for certain. Pretty much nobody does.  
Fortunately, all of the scars that I acquired during my time as ruler are gone now.  
Frisk makes a hum of contentedness and taps my pot. "Whaddya want?"  
They gesticulate again, peppering it with words. "I'm not helping with your homework."  
Heavy footsteps creak into the room and Asgore's bulk fills the doorway. Our eyes meet and he smiles shyly. He ducks, embarrassed, under the frame. There's countless chips in the panel where his horns have scraped it.  
He's wearing a pink, floral button-down, not like his formal dress. Tufts of fur sprout from between the buttons.  
"Good morning, Frisk!" He wraps his strong arms around them and they return the gesture. He catches me watching and I scowl.  
"Is that pie I smell?" Asgore pulls an exaggerated face of disgust. "And ketchup?"  
Frisk laughs quietly. The Monster king bellows. "Hey, Gorey." Sans places a generous slice of butterscotch cinnamon pie in front of Frisk's chair. Atop it is a dollop of tomato sauce. It's a horrendous mockery of ice cream.  
"Did you sleep well?"  
The skeleton shrugs. "I slept. Have you seen Tori?"  
Just being around this situation is making me nervous. There's the most powerful monster here, who knows about my past, and my blood father, who doesn't.  
It's pretty perfect blackmail material.  
I should just tell Asgore, but that would hurt him and Mom as much as I hurt back then.  
If this was the Flowey who decided it was best to kill or be killed, I'd have told him.  
I think that version of me is dead now too. 

As if on cue, Toriel enters. Smoothing out her violet dress, she says a dainty hello to us, me included.  
Asgore and Sans both look at her in the same way, but I can't quite place the emotion in their eyes.  
After a boring breakfast of listening to anecdote after anecdote and eating nothing, they all sit around and watch Mettaton's new drama 'Hotel Cupcake'. Papyrus recorded the first episode a few days ago.  
A dramatic theme song plays, showing cut-scenes of each.. character? They're all Mettaton wearing wigs. Well, at least he's the star.  
The problem with being confined to a pot is that you feel left out. Like I'm looking out from a bubble, or a cage that separates me from them. Like they don't want me. Like I'm some savage creature that'd hurt them. Well, they aren't wrong there.  
A muffled "Hello Darlings~!" sounds from somewhere that isn't the television.  
The letterbox rattles.  
I'm not surprised that nobody notices. They're all stupid.  
"U-um, could y-you let us in?"  
Alphys.  
No, I can't. I have no hands. "Boney," I hiss. Sans slowly looks up at me.  
"Yeah."  
"The door."  
Undyne shouts with enthusiasm from outside, "I'll break it down!!"  
"Welp. Okay then, I'll get it."

"PHEW! I THOUGHT WE'D BE STUCK OUT THERE!" Papyrus smiles and touches his face. "METTATON GAVE US MAKEOVERS!"  
I can barely see anything different, apart from a tiny red smear on his cheekbones.  
Is that what people do at sleepovers? It sounds stupid, but I'm still jealous that they're all so close. Well, either I'm jealous or there's something mouldy in here with me.  
Alphys is shaking.  
"Oh! Do you want a cup of tea?"Asgore calls through.  
She nods gratefully.  
Why doesn't anybody ask me!? Asgore should care about me the most..but I remember that his son is dead.  
Before he leaves the room, I speak up. "Me too."  
He looks at me, wide eyed, then smiles. "Oh! Of course!" The king turns to the teapot but stops. "Is..is golden flower tea alright?" He scratches his beard.  
"Mm." I don't care what it's made of, I just want to taste it too.  
"Good! I'm glad you said yes, I'd've had to get more.." He whistles a slow melody as the kettle squeals.  
It sounds familiar.  
Asriel used to try and whistle it too, but he never could make a sound. I remember him feeling very proud of the music box he and his sister made that played the same song.  
After we died, Asgore carefully placed the treasure in a statue of a Dreemurr monster for any passers by to hear. I guess he was hoping that it would give someone Determination.

Can I whistle? I don't really have lungs. I have a gap between my teeth like Asriel, too.  
A sharp, high-pitched screech sounds out when I blow.  
Everybody in the crowded living-room must be looking at me. Are they? I'm too afraid to find out.  
Whatever. They don't bother me. I'll do what I want.  
I'll kill them if they laugh.  
I tell myself this, but I don't really believe it.  
Still, the notes fall without much thinking after that. How do people do this? It's bizarre that you don't have to think about the actual tune.  
Chara used to try and teach me. But human faces work differently to Asriel's, and it was too fustrating..  
Asgore places a small cup in front of me. It has a yellow flower finger painted on it. Each of the six petals is a tiny finger print.  
"I've been waiting for you to ask," he says sheepishly. "I found a cup that suited you."  
What a strange gesture. I don't say anything but I stop whistling.  
"It was in the bottom of a box in the castle. Things gathering dust." He glances over at everyone in turn, chatting with Mettaton about the programme, then at Frisk.  
"Anyway," He quickly changes the subject. "You're pretty good at that, aren't you?"

"You're pretty good at that, aren't you?"  
I smile a little and shake my head. Dad ruffles my fur. "Just a bit more practice, and you'll be able to make anything!"  
I hope he's right. Chara was teaching me how to punch the holes in the paper at the right spots. She has smaller hands then me, so she fixed the little spokes and cogs and chimes in the right places. Watching the music play itself is relaxing. I should ask her if it's a common skill on the surface, and who she learned it from.  
"Do you think so?"  
Dad beams. "I know it! I look forward to hearing the songs you make up!"  
In truth, there's only one song I want it to play. It might take a lot of time, but I'll give it to him for his birthday. I hope he likes it.

"-wey? Flowey?" A big paw waves in front of my face.  
"What?" I jump back and frown.  
"Are you okay?"  
"Why wouldn't I be?" I snap.  
"It isn't the tea, is it?" Asgore seems genuinely concerned. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Frisk's little head appear over the table. Pie crumbs are stuck to their chin. "Sick?"  
Yep. I'm pretty sick. My chest aches. Probably going to die. Wouldn't that be fortunate? I could reset then, and forget this pathetic life.  
"No."  
Steam from the mug drifts up into swirling patterns. I hollowly assure them that I'm fine, just to make them go away.

"Oh yes~! It's been a lot of fun! The producers are all fabulous~!"  
That robot is still talking. I'm actually surprised that they even let him be on human tv, let alone have his own show. I guess they'd get monster viewers too that way.  
"I can't get the song out of my head!" Undyne grins, mimicking a guitar solo and wiggling her fingers. Alphys smiles shyly at both of them.  
"Me and Blo- Napstablook mixed it! He's handy with music software."  
"HE -IS- ALWAYS WEARING HEADPHONES," Papyrus adds.  
This is boring. I'm bored. I'm lonely. I want to feel again. Maybe then I'd care about what they have to say.  
I take a sip of the tea. It has a mild perfume-y flavour. It's fairly tasty. I seem to remember Asgore always drinking this stuff in the throne room. Chara never had a taste for it, so Asriel didn't try it either.

The rest of the day crawls by in a monochrome blur. Before I know it it's already Frisk's bedtime and I've done nothing remotely notable.  
I sit awake, hoping that Chara will find some way to return to me, but Frisk's steady breathing makes me drowsy, and I feel myself fall asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh. the next bit. i guess.  
> i can do italics now. yay.  
> this bit turned out a little funny. then. uh. not very funny.  
> (i really should just rewrite it...but then y'all wouldn't get to read my dozy ramblings. eheh  
> (as if anybody reads notes :3)

Are you sure this is a good idea?  
Yes?  
Well, okay then.  
We'll free everyone, won't we!  
Hey, pull your scary face again.  
Aw, okay.

Where am I? Mom! Da-  
I can't move! I can't feel my legs..!  
These flowers are so tall..!  
Am I in the village? There's whirring fans somewhere. It's too loud..  
Chara, are you here! I don't feel you with me.  
Help! Anybody..

But nobody came.  
My heart is pounding. Pain grips my lungs. I can't breathe. I can't breathe!  
No, calm down Flowey. This has happened before. You aren't there. You aren't..  
This is Frisk's room.  
I look around me, chills prickling my neck.  
Just take a deep breath.  
Idiot.  
The alarm clock looks fuzzy from here, so I have to squint to read it. "3:46"  
Great.  
I really could do without this. Something's wrong with me.  
Does Frisk feel this way, unable to talk?  
Does Chara feel this way, unable to have a body of her own?  
Whatever.  
I'll just sit here and wait for the human to wake up. Only three hours. It's a..Monday? so school, right?  
It's not all bad, if I can get some alone time later.

The alarm snaps me back to reality. I must have nodded off again. Frisk sighs and smacks the clock onto the floor.  
It shuts up.  
"Morning. Flowey." They stretch, and suddenly awake, begin rapidly signing to me.  
"Slow down, kid. Start again."  
They frown and repeat the gestures. " _You're coming with me today!_ "  
"Oh no. I'm not. You must be confused."  
Frisk makes a noise to mean the opposite.  
"Okay, why?"  
" _We have to bring in a plant for science!_ "  
The idea of this is getting worse and worse. There is no way I'm getting touched by a load of sticky children.  
"Nope, sorry. I'm not a plant, I'm a monster."  
"A monster flower."  
I sigh. There's no arguing with this child. Anyway, Sans or Toriel will just force me to go.  
"Whatever. But I'm not being nice. They might lose a couple of fingers."  
Frisk seems to completely disregard my warning, proceeding to jump out of bed smiling, and whisking me downstairs.  
Still half-asleep, I'm bundled into Papyrus' car and travelling dangerously down a freeway, wedged between a brown bag and a rucksack.  
What intelligent human decided it would be fine for a skeleton in costume to drive a vehicle? No wonder Chara hated her race. They're all bloody idiots.

The room smells of paint and disinfectant.  
It's crammed with small humans, louder versions of Frisk.  
Quieter than Asriel's sister.  
A boy brings in a bundle of murdered roses.  
Another snotty-nosed creature presents a dandelion with a the roots attached. Clods of dirt litter the scratchy blue carpet.  
Am I the only living plant here?!  
These people are twisted. Maybe more than me.  
That might have been an exaggeration.  
I hadn't realized how weak flowers are up on the surface.  
They couldn't kill me though.  
I'm not anything like those dead weeds.

I zone out through the whole lesson. I really don't want a detailed presentation on pollination, thank you. Fortunately, none of the other brats have noticed me. Frisk's doing a good job this ti-  
They pat the desk. They sign.  
"What about Flowey?"  
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.  
The teacher, a tall blonde woman, smiles accommodatingly.  
"Is this Flowey?"  
NO NO NO-  
They nod.  
I look over, pulling the scariest, creepiest smile possible. I hiss. Why the hell would they do that? Frisk is going to pay for this.  
"Uh..uhm. Is it a monster?"  
It?  
The children are all looking at me. A little ginger girl looks terrified. As she should be.  
Frisk nods again.  
"Does it want to tell us about being a plant?"  
The human teacher is really handling this well. I should probably stop being this nasty. I let my face return to a normal smile.  
"Howdy! I'm Flowey, Flowey the flower!"  
Sickly sweet. Some of the children at the back stand up to see. Nosy little welps.  
"S-so.. what can you tell us about being a plant?"  
The teacher looks as if I might murder her. What should I say? Frisk looks at me, expecting something, full of pride. Nobody's ever had faith in me before. I swallow. My mouth is suddenly dry.  
"G-Golly, there's a lot to say! We change light from the sun into sugar..!" Is this what I should be saying..? I look back to Frisk for conformation. They smile and motion for me to carry on.  
The humans get closer, until I'm surrounded.  
I can hear my heartbeat echoing in my ears.  
"And there's little hairs on our roots to drink water.."  
A boy with dark, wild hair laughs. "Aren't you gonna steal our souls!"

They know. I'm sure they all know the legend, and that it was me all along.  
That I'm a monster in every sense of the word.

"It's going to steal our souls!"  
"It's come to kill us!"  
I'm about two feet taller than them. Women and human children are hiding away in houses, peering from shut windows. The smoke stops billowing from the chimneys.  
A field of beautiful golden flowers surrounds the thatched buildings, and in the distance a ring of tall rocky mountains split the sky.  
I can only watch as my hands carefully set down Chara's lifeless body.  
They think I killed her.  
"You're wrong..!"  
The words fall on deaf ears.  
A tall muscular man in a chain vest strikes my thigh with a sharp sword.  
My blood pools at my feet. My fur is sticky, but it doesn't hurt much.  
They shout and clatter sticks, throw stones and come at me with all the hate they can gather. A baby grizzles and bawls from somewhere.  
I'm scared.  
"We should use our full power, Asriel!"  
Chara's voice echoes in my head. I step back.  
"No, it'll kill-"  
"They're going to kill us! What was this for, if we can't gather the souls?!"  
Her willpower is stronger than mine. I can't stop her from overcoming me with force. I have to try and talk..  
"I don't like this idea anymore. I'm scared."  
Another human strikes me with a dagger to my arm. It hurts this time. They must have covered it in something.  
"I died to set you all free, Asriel. Are you going to kill yourself too?!"  
Tears run down my face. "I'm not going to kill them," I whimper, this time out loud. The sound is drowned out by a clatter of weaponry.  
"So you'll just fail everybody down there? You'll throw away your races' only chance just because you don't want to anymore?! What about Mom! You selfish little-"  
The humans shout something and surround me.  
I don't see the arrows until they're embedded within my chest. One juts out of my breast bone, and the other two shoot clean through my flesh, skewering me like a fish.  
I turn and run. Chara's screaming in my head, telling me to take down only six of them before I go back underground.  
I look back, my eyesight foggy. I see grass covered in dark red. With delirious amusement I finally comprehend that it's my life leaving me.  
I splutter. Thick, congealing blood clings to my white fur in clumps. A loud thumping of footsteps and my pulse is all I can hear.  
I see their angry, cold, human faces.  
I smile at them. It's not their fault. None of them are old enough to remember the war. Some people have filled their heads with stories.  
I can feel my heart fluttering, tearing itself apart on the points stuck through it. With our Determination I appear at the boundary on my hands and knees.  
I don't remember how I got here.  
It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.  
Dad's voice is calling from somewhere far, far away. I can't hear it from underwater. This has a surreal quality. Silver and gold lights are shimmering, even though my eyes won't open. I'm not scared any more. It will all be over soon. A warm comforting darkness grips me. It's tempting to stay awake, but didn't mom say you feel better once you sleep..?  
I'm tired and it hurts and I'll just.. I'll just take a nap...where these soft flowers grow..  
"Asriel, my child, please have Determination.. "

Tap tap tap.  
Hollow thudding.  
Rhythmic patting.  
Frisk.  
I focus my eyes. My cheeks are wet.  
Frisk is looking back at me. Their cheeks are wet too. This isn't Waterfall.  
I open my mouth but no sound emerges, as if somebody is choking me.  
I'm choking.  
Tap tap tap.  
I focus on Frisk again.  
"Can you see me?"  
I nod, realizing that I'm trembling.  
"Count five things you can see," They sign.  
Why? This is stupid. I'm physically unable to function, and they're telling me to count.  
I look at the room. It's empty of anyone but us. Two chairs, a table, a chalkboard..what else..?  
I nod again.  
"Count four things you can hear."  
Frisk's voice? I don't know.. I don't..  
Tap tap tap.  
I look up at Frisk's face.  
"Stop. It's okay." They speak in their rarely heard words. I feel my heartbeat slow after minutes of silence. Breath soon returns to my lungs.  
"Let's go home." Then, with signs, "I _texted Papyrus. He's waiting outside._ "  
This is embarrassing. Now even that idiot knows how broken I am.  
Seeming to sense this, Frisk tries to smile reassuringly. "I feel like that sometimes too."  
"N-n.." My mouth is dry, and I'm still apparently shaking. Frisk sits patiently as I form the words. I guess this is where having hands to sign with would be useful.  
In the underground not everybody has a mouth to talk with, so signing is a common way of communication. Humans don't seem to understand it as well as we do.  
"No, y-you don't."  
" _You remembered something, didn't you?_ "  
I swallow around the lump in my throat and look down. "W-what about it," I try to play off that I don't care, but it doesn't work.  
" _Was it really.._ " Frisk searches for the correct word. " _Lifelike?_ "  
Yes.  
I could smell everything. Hear everything. Feel..  
It's hard to believe that I was never in that place just now, Chara's old village..  
I say nothing, but my meaning is pretty clear, I guess.  
When my tremors cease, Frisk gently picks me up and we travel through empty corridors, ducking under the windows in doors.  
I shrink down so only my head pokes out of the soil. Frisk stops, then removes their coat, wrapping it around my pot in a way that makes a cave with the hood.  
"Th..thanks," I whisper. Frisk responds with a hushed "Welcome," before moving on.  
"What happened," I finally ask.  
The human places me on a bench outside and signs. " _I got that boy in trouble. He was mean._ " Shadows from leaves above sway on the grey playground.  
"Wasn't that mean."  
" _He made you upset. You aren't bad._ "  
I'm not going to admit that I've killed them hundreds of times.  
I'm not going to admit it was that boy's words that sparked the memory, either.  
"Then what?"  
" _The teacher was scared that you might turn bad, but I told her that you were just feeling shy. They wouldn't understand._ "  
I never thought that a human would defend me like Frisk just did.  
We sit like this, silent. I dip into the hood and a bell rings from inside the school building.  
"Lunch," Frisk says, picking up the pot with care not to shake it. "Should go."  
Lunch means lots of obnoxious human children making loud noises. In my current state, I can't imagine it being a good idea to stick around.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit of # bad time with sans v flowey ;;  
> im not sure why this happened. it just. did. uhh..  
> sans is a douche in this, but i guess you'll find out. i dunno. i just dont think he'd have any patience with our smol flower

"IT'S A SHAME YOU WERE FEELING SICK, FLOWEY!" Papyrus skids around a corner at break neck speed. I might be feeling sick if he doesn't slow down. Maniac.  
"I GUESS YOU DIDN'T START THAT FAN CLUB THEN?"  
"Only you wanted that," I spit, pulling the hood over my head completely. It smells clean, and the dark is comfortable.  
Frisk pats it lightly when the car stops moving and I emerge.  
"THAT'LL BE TWO THOUSAND POUNDS, PLEASE!" Papyrus holds his bony hand out, grinning.  
" _Is this your new job?_ "  
"NYEH HEH HEH! THE GREAT PAPYRUS' TAXI SERVICE!"  
"Won't catch on," I mumble.  
"OH WELL, MAYBE UNDYNE CAN BE MY FIRST CUSTOMER! SEE YOU LATER, FRISK!"  
He speeds off, waving and  
'nyeh heh heh'-ing into the distance. He swerves around a lamp post and turns the corner.  
Gone.  
Toriel is still working at the library at this time of day, and Asgore is at a 'boring adult meeting'. That means he's sitting around a table being a pushover for the important humans.  
Alphys will be at the lab, showing the human students how to generate clean renewable energy.  
Undyne and Papyrus have another cooking class today, which would explain why he sped off so quickly.  
And the bonehead...  
With a groan I deduce that he'll be having a 'day off'.  
"Home already, kiddo?"  
He's slouched on the sofa with a ketchup bottle in hand.  
He quickly snaps shut a book as we walk in.  
" _Flowey was feeling sick._ "  
Sans looks at me and his eyes flicker for a moment. "Was he now?"  
I can't deal with this at the moment. I know you hate me, Sans. Any other time I'd spit some insult back, but.. I'm drawing a blank.  
"Well, you can eat your packed lunch, or.." He winks and grins. Frisk smiles. " _Hot dogs!_ "  
"You got it."  
Frisk whispers to me as Sans swings up. "Get you one."  
They both set to work in the kitchen.  
I'm left in here on the arm of the couch.  
I could help, y'know.  
The kid might not, but Sans knows. I don't blame him for holding my actions against me, but he could at least pretend we get along around Frisk. That's the only thing Sans is good at anyway. His whole personality is a lie.  
Is mine?  
I've lived with this mentality for such a long time, maybe I really do believe deep down it's kill or be killed.  
At the same time, I haven't killed anyone in this timeline, and I haven't died.  
"Hey, what's with you and that flower anyway?"  
Ear wigging is my second greatest talent.  
My first is spying. I watch Frisk's hands move in a slight blur.  
Can plants get glasses?  
" _We're friends!_ "  
"How did you meet?" He levitates some raw sausages around is head, and drops them into a pan with a careless flick of his left wrist.  
" _He was the first monster I ever met. I didn't want him to be left behind._ "  
That's true. As for the second half, this child really ought to shut up around Sans. They should know how he feels about me, even if there's no memory of the fight.  
"Eh, fair enough." He throws the pan up in the air, and catches the cooked hot dogs in buns. Icy blue light glows around the airborne food. Frisk claps. "Huh. Great audience." He bows dramatically, shrugs, and piles them up onto a plate. Frisk proudly carries them into the living room and sets it on the table.  
"Enjoy those apostrophe-dogs." He slowly sits down, groaning, and leans back. His spine cracks.  
"Almost forgot."  
He tosses the ketchup absent-mindedly to Frisk.  
There's no way they're catching it.  
I get a strong feeling of déjà vu.  
Before I realize, The bottle is hanging at the end of a vine inches from the floor. I set it on the table and return to watching the interactions. I think I've given away myself too much for anything good to happen.  
"Thanks." Frisk hands me a bun, and I greedily accept the offering.  
One-nil, bony.  
"Oop, sorry kiddo. By the way, did Alphys tell you?"  
Frisk shakes their head. "MTT might be over later with Napstablook and Shyren. Just a warning, but they'll be in the basement."  
"What are they doing?"  
He shrugs and adjusts his hoodie. "Recording. Maybe."  
Frisk nods, and signs to me. "Ketchup?"  
By now the food is gone. I puff my cheeks out like a hamster. The little human hides a giggle from Sans.  
Something stirs within me. I'm not sure what it is, but I feel vaguely pleased that Frisk is happy.  
I push it out of my mind and watch a documentary about Mt Ebott.  
Since it's no longer a monster prison, the humans have made it into a tourist spot. Like most of the monsters, I'm against our suffering being used as an attraction for humans, but at least Asgore managed to make sure it was a rare occasion. The only reason he agreed in the first place was because it would help us get the real story out. I might go down there again with the next guided tour and shake them up a bit. Muffet goes down to talk to the spiders sometimes, and a few lone Froggits hung around the ruins.  
Our half of the protection put into place always seems a little unfair, because the king is too giving. Once a doormat, always a doormat.  
The big guy is just happy to be up here, I guess.  
But then, so is everybody. So we'll make do with biased laws and restrictions on magic. I do sort of miss the ruins though.  
Up here is too bitter. I appreciate our old community a little more, even if I despise the people in it.

A sarcastic "ahem" takes my attention elsewhere.  
"Frisk's gone upstairs. So you'd better behave, got it?" Sans' pupils contract. Why is he starting this? I've not even done anything!  
"Or what, bony?"  
He smirks. "You must be more stupid than you look, huh?"  
A weight presses down on my chest. I can't escape.  
Why did I even bother asking? I need to learn to keep my mouth shut.  
He slowly lifts his hand and I'm flying, being thrown across the room at full force-  
The whoosh of air blocks out any other sound. I'm going to hit the wall.  
I shut my eyes, waiting for the impact.  
It doesn't come.  
I open my eyes to a wonderful view of the wallpaper.  
"Get it now?"  
I growl. "I could kill you whenever I wanted."  
He shrugs. "Sure. But you know what'll happen if you do."  
Does Sans know something I don't? He's bluffing. Should I know something he doesn't? He watches my face change with vague amusement.  
Setting me back down on the sofa, he snickers softly. "Huh, I've got a joke for ya. What does a rabbit fly around in?"  
"I don't care."  
"A hareopla.."  
Frisk's tiny footsteps rattle down the stairs. Good. I need some protection from this thick-skulled maniac.  
My breath catches in my throat, yet Chara isn't the one that walked in.  
Sans' nonchalant glance soon takes on a look of sheer horror.

  
Frisk is holding a very familiar weapon.

  
They look scared and angry, not unlike Sans.  
"K-kiddo, what are you doing with that?" I can tell he's trying to appear calm.  
Frisk goes to sign but ends up waving the blade around. With a noise of irritation they set it down carefully.  
"It was in the bedroom."  
With shaking hands, Sans rises and carefully takes it from the child. It just occurred to me that he remembers his encounter with it too. Not so tough now, are you?  
"Did you take this from the kitchen? We don't play with kn-nives."  
" _I didn't take it! It was beside my bed._ "  
He drops it onto the table as if the handle was on fire. The noise seems to startle him more. A sudden realization crosses his eyes, and with a dark voice he speaks. "Go finish your schoolwork, Frisk."  
They hesitate before nodding and closing the door behind them.  
Sans closes his eyes and lets out a shaking breath. His ribcage heaves through his jacket.  
He wipes a hand across his eyes and opens them; the look on his face suggests that he was hoping it was a dream.  
"Chara."  
This is a good chance to get one over on him, but seeing the state he's in I'm not sure I actually want to.  
He frowns at me. "This has something to do with you."  
"Little ol' me? Of course not."  
"Don't play games with me, Flowey."  
"I don't play games," I smile, baring my fangs. I shoot out a vine and rise up. Only when I'm evil do I have this confidence. It's my only skill. I grab the Real Knife and bring it close to me.  
Sans scrambles back, into the kitchen.  
Why do I do these things?  
"This is mine."  
It is. Chara, my only friend, left it as a parting gift. I wonder what she expected me to do with it. Did Frisk find it in those other worlds?  
Sans swallows and conjures five bones. They circle around his waist.  
"I knew you couldn't be trusted. If Frisk wasn't here you'd-"  
"Be dead where I stand," I grin.  
So, Bonehead is still predictable in some ways. Which is pretty useful for me. His eyes open wider.  
I change my face to mimic Toriel's look of shock and dismay when Chara killed her.  
He steps further back, running into the oven attached to the wall. He slips and falls on his rear. He looks up at me in the other room.  
"Nowhere to run, is there?"  
I kind of feel sorry for the guy, but.. I haven't had this power over somebody in such a long, long time...it's fun.  
I laugh.  
Tossing the weapon between a few vines I carry on this act. The wooden handle has a familiar shape and weight to it, so it's easy to spin. Sans seems to buy my confident, merciless, charade.  
"You know about this knife, don't you?"  
He throws a bone at me and I surprise myself by ducking swiftly out of the way.  
It crashes through the back wall, and a shower of plaster and brick crumbles from the hole.  
"You know what the owner of this knife does, don't you?"  
He swallows, blue and gold magic pooling in his skull and dripping from his eye sockets. It looks like tears. He's paralysed from fear, like his soul is green.  
Would Chara be proud of these actions? For some reason I'm angry at her, for doing this, for visiting. I'm angry at Sans for killing her again, and again, even though she slaughtered his entire race, and me.  
"Don't touch Frisk."  
And even in his potentially last moments, he's still trying to defend the people he loves. I hate him for it.  
He really is an idiot.  
"I wouldn't _dare_ touch Frisk, or you," I speak sweetly.  
His jaw tenses, still locked in a smile.  
Is Sans a better person than I?  
I grin.  
"Say, I wonder if you could help me out."  
He stares back at me. Sweat forms on his forehead. How do bones sweat?  
"Who do you love the most?"  
He knows what I'll say. I list the names of a few monsters, his face getting paler and paler. It's impressive for a skeleton.  
"Or is it Papyrus?"  
Sans shouts in anguish, his broken voice filled with regret and pain. He launches another bone at me, which clips my petals.  
"Don't..you..hurt him." His shoulders shudder with his heavy breathing. I should cut him a break. I'm not really going to murder anybody...even if I am desperate to find out what might happen.  
"You can't even save your own brother."  
He puts his right hand over his mouth; he looks like he'll be sick any minute.  
With the other, he summons a Gasterblaster over my head. Its jaw opens and closes mindlessly.  
This is interesting.  
"I.. don't wanna hafta do this, weedy," he huffs.  
Only for Frisk's sake. I scoff.  
"You know what'll happen if you do," I remark, throwing back Sans' earlier comment. It puts him more off balance.  
We stand, waiting for the other to make a move. Adrenaline and Determination pulses through my being.  
Sans falters, breaking eye contact.  
"Kill me instead."

  
Those words hang in the space between us.  
I know that they hold more weight than just a plea for mercy.  
I can sense that in all his restless nights he's thought the same thing, watching his brother die over and over.. reliving those same feelings of helplessness as Asriel felt..  
Now I feel bad.  
Sorry, Chara. I can't do it this time.  
I reach into the kitchen slowly and place the knife in front of him.  
I'm reluctant to give Sans that power and a piece of me.  
He recoils and flinches away from it.  
"Do you want it or not?!" I hiss.  
Stupid monster. If I'd wanted to kill him I'd just go get some human souls.  
Or just slap him. That'd deal at least 1 damage, right?  
He looks at me, and back to the smooth, pristine blade I've given up.  
He shakily picks it up with his magic and hurls it over his shoulder through the window.  
It disappears into the distance in a spray of broken glass.  
Sans staggers upright again, moans, and faints. The Gasterblaster fizzles out of existence.  
Idiot.  
I pick up the bones behind me and place them in a neat pile by his head.  
Excess magic flows from his hollow eye sockets and relaxed mouth, vaporizing when it hits the cold tiling; rising and swirling into the air like ethereal smoke and fizzling out of existence.  
It's intriguing to watch, actually.  
Well, I'm not going to wake him up. He can stay there.  
Frisk would probably do the opposite. How would they fare in a fight, anyway? Not everyone can be disarmed by flirting or linking arms and skipping through a meadow.  
I suddenly feel ill. My chest feels..tight.  
What is this? Is this punishment?  
I can't breathe..  
"Frisk..!"  
I hear a muffled movement from upstairs.  
The ground is spinning. He poisoned me! Sans poisoned me!  
I knew they were all planning something!  
"F..!" My voice won't work properly.  
I'm shaking.  
This is it then?  
Frisk appears in front of me. " _Were you fighting?_ " They point to the hole in the wall.  
"Can't breathe..!" My head feels fuzzy and out of place. I don't feel real. I feel like I'm just an entity watching me from far away. My heartbeat is like Asriel's when he was being chased.  
"Hey," They whisper. "It's like before."  
They kneel and look me in the eye.  
"Calm. Calm."  
I hate them. I hate them for knowing what to do. I hate them for coming to the underground.  
I hate the world for making a child climb a mountain like Ebott.  
I feel the pounding in my chest slow. When I get my breath back, I speak.  
"Thanks, I guess." I look away. "You might want to help Sans."  
Frisk jumps up and helps a groggy skeleton to his feet.  
"Huh? Oh, hey kid."  
"Are you hurt?"  
He pats their head. "Nope, I'm fine." He pops his hip into place and lets the child lead him into the living room.  
" _Were you fighting?_ " They look to Sans and then to me in turn.  
Sans seems confused and disoriented.  
"He was talking in his sleep. Throwing bones like a maniac." Disaster averted. Probably.  
He frowns and holds his hands up. "Must've been. Sorry for the mess." He doesn't seem convinced.  
"I'll clean it up," Frisk hugs him. "Try and sleep well later."  
Frisk's kindness is sickening.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update.  
> i have no real excuse.  
> too much anime.  
> flowey and gorey have a cheeky chat.

Electronic music thumps through the floorboards. When Bonehead said that Mettaton and Napstablook would be over, I didn't think he meant in the middle of the night.  
"Fabulous~!"  
"Oh....I stopped... Did you want me to...leave it playing...? "  
The music resumes, this time with a heavier bassline. A layer of melody plays over the top. It sounds fairly good, until a huge crackling screech echoes through the house.  
"Oh no....I broke the speaker..."  
"Don't worry! Plug it into me~!"  
The music resumes. Mettaton laughs.  
They're happy.  
Why do they get to find peace up here? Even the ghost's got a purpose. He's got a small deal making music. Doesn't ever seem too pleased about it though.  
And even if it isn't exactly being a teacher, the queen seems pretty content being a librarian.  
I do nothing.  
What is a broken plant good for?  
Will there be a place for me?  
Frisk sits up. "Loud," They whisper.  
"It's the tin can downstairs."  
" _What time is it?_ "  
"You smashed the clock. Why would I know?"  
They yawn. Fascinatingly, I feel the need to as well.  
" _Can you find out?_ "  
I have to do everything around here.  
I pop down into the soil, and appear in one of the pots on the kitchen windowsill. I'm next to a looming jade tree.  
There's an eerie stillness in here.  
Wind howls through the broken glass, covered by a layer of duct tape and cardboard.  
The clock on the wall says 2:32.  
Right.  
I should get back, but.. I feel at ease in the dark.  
"Hey, Dreemurr," Somebody snarls.  
"What?"  
They say nothing.  
I take a breath.  
It was just your imagination, stupid.  
Frisk's fallen back to sleep. What a waste of time.

A shaft of light covers the bedside table. I unfurl my petals and turn to face it. Sunlight is the only thing I really needed in the underworld.  
I pretend to sleep, and do a much better job of it than the socially awkward ghost. Frisk moves on with their routine and goes to school. To learn useless things that aren't kill or be killed.  
Sans goes to work today. Currently, he drifts between helping the Nice Cream guy and Burger Pants. For some reason his hot dog sentry stand was taken down. Some scandal about cat meat.  
I heard that Alphys and Undyne are going to have a date today. I have to admit that they do sort of complement each other.  
I guess that the only person home will be Asgore.  
So, that means any number of weirdos could just walk in. Seriously, that guy needs to lock the doors.  
If I were in Asriel's body, we'd probably play games or read. If I were in Asriel's body, I'd have gone to the school with Frisk.  
A thought just occured to me..If Chara knew for a fact that the night she visited would be her only chance, then she must have watched a whole life at least once, right?  
Is she watching now, unable to interact?  
I shiver.  
"Are you awake?" Asgore's voice echoes like a quiet hurricane.  
"Yes."  
His head swings around the doorframe. "Did you want a cup of tea?"  
This is the only thing he ever seems to say. Feeling sick? Have some tea.  
Long day? Have some tea.  
Being chased by a bear? Have some tea.  
"Coffee." For some reason I find this funnier than I should.  
His expression of shock is priceless. "Oh! Certainly!" He leaves then comes back seconds after. "Milk and sugar?"  
How would I know? I've never had it before. Should I give a quantity, or is it always the same?  
"Yes. Eight."  
He blinks and scratches his beard. "Eight?"  
Caught. He must have noticed that I have no idea what I'm doing. Why is this so stressful?  
"Yes."  
"Sorry, I didn't think I heard you.. Just a minute," He smiles politely and leaves again.  
Only to come back after three steps down the landing. "Do you want to come downstairs with me?"  
I could anyway, but I still accept the king's offer.  
His furry arms are close to me, but not close enough to feel like old days.

Coffee tastes too sweet. I'm not sure I like it. It's a grown-up sort of beverage, so it must grow on me. I won't show that I don't enjoy the taste much.  
Still, better than water.  
Asgore sits across from me with his paws cupped around his large violet mug. The thick pottery is chipped, presumably by his teeth or clumsiness.  
He sips his tea and smiles kindly. "We should do this more often."  
"Do what?"  
"Just sit. Sitting is a good thing to do."  
I hate to agree. I feel shy around the person who's technically my father, yet he doesn't know.  
I put my cup down and watch the ripples in the brown liquid.  
"So," Asgore begins after a pause, "How do you like the surface?"  
I hate it.  
I love it.  
I forgot that he doesn't know I've been up here before.  
"It's bright."  
He brings the cup to his lips. "That it is. It's much nicer in real life than in stories, don't you think?"  
When the stories mostly involve a legend about your own death, it isn't very difficult for something to be nicer.  
"Yes."  
"You don't sound convinced, Flowey." He looks at me with a soft brown gaze. I can't stand it.  
Those loving, forgiving eyes would never look at me the same if he knew.  
Being in this room alone with him again makes me want to run and hide. I want him to know. I don't want him to know.  
I want to feel something for my father, and that wish will never come true.  
"Don't I?"  
"Do you need watering? Is that what's wrong?"  
He just won't let it lie, will he?  
"No," I hiss a little, embarrassed.  
"Oh, I'm sorry."  
His innocence and doting nature is really beginning to irritate me. He fills his cup again from the teapot. Toriel crocheted a cosy in the shape of a snail for it yesterday evening.  
"Have you done anything interesting today?"  
"I've just woken up."  
"Oh! Of course, sorry. To tell the truth, I'm really not very good at making conversion, I'm afraid. " He rubs the back of his head.  
No kidding.  
"Me either."  
Why did I say that! Now I look like a complete-  
"We have that in common, then don't we!" He smiles and chuckles. "I'm glad we got to talk today."  
I can't do this. I thought I could handle being with Asgore.  
I look down and follow the grain on the table with my eyes.  
"Me too."  
The king falls silent and when I look up his eyes meet with mine. They mask a hidden pain, it seems.  
"If you don't mind me asking.."  
"What?"  
"Where did your family go on the surface? Are you alone?"  
Yes. I'm surrounded by people but I'm still lonely. My own little isolated mind. With its strange little thoughts.  
I don't say anything, afraid that something will slip.  
"Sorry. Did I upset you? You know we love having you here, don't you?"  
"I'm fine."  
"Oh. I hope you are." Obviously. Why do people feel the need to spout obvious facts?  
After a pause, I think of a commonplace to say. "It's your turn. Tell me about your children."  
His face turns solemn, a shadow crossing his eyes. "My son and daughter. Don't you know the tale?"  
"I know the story, but what about them as people? "  
I'm not sure I should be asking this, for both of our sakes. Part of me is desperate to hear about us from his own mouth.  
"They both weren't much younger than Frisk is now. Asriel was a shy and caring boy. The human was a loud and protective girl. They both balanced each other out." He smiles sadly. "I love them both very much. They died before their time."  
He's right about that.  
I take note of the present tense "love". There's no hope for me.  
I drink more of the sickly liquid. It's cold.  
"Look at the time!" Asgore fakes surprise and gestures to the clock. "Time really does fly when chatting! "  
He must think I'm stupid.  
I just make a noise of agreement.  
"Well," He speaks decisively, rising. "It's a beautiful day today. I'm going to trim the hedge."  
I pull a face of mock horror.  
"Oh! Did I offend you?" He sits back down. "I shall do it later."  
I should have just let him go, really.  
He glances over at my cup. "Do you want some more?"  
This is my chance! "Yes. Please."  
He stomps into the kitchen and boils the kettle. I go to leave while his back is turned, but that's just how Asriel snuck away to the surface. Besides, it'd be rude to leave after he's gone to all that effort..  
He smiles warmly and returns my cup.  
"Th..thanks."  
Saying that seems to make him happy. Even before, the littlest details, things people could easily overlook, gave him the greatest pleasure.  
"Say."  
"Yes, Flowey?"  
"Why do you like that tea so much?"  
"This tea? It has a very uplifting flavour."  
"How do you make it?"  
"I'm not sure I should tell you.. since.. you're.. " His voice trails off into a low rumble.  
"Tell me."  
"Well then. It's made from the leaves and petals from golden flowers. After my children left, the castle garden slowly became filled with them."  
"Right. How did they get there? What about the first one?"  
I'm close to reaching an opening to tell him, but he keeps dodging my leads.  
"My, so many questions! I'm not sure how it got there. It was the tallest, and grew just in between the queen's throne and mine.  
One day, it disappeared." He breathes out heavily. His chest falls.  
"At least it left a lot of others behind it. Although, they were never quite as splendid as that one."  
I'm a little flattered, I suppose. The king takes another sip of tea and looks at me, seriously. "I'd recognise that flower anywhere."  
"R-really? It must be hard to tell flowers apart."  
This was a terrible, terrible mistake.  
"So do you find it difficult?" Asgore raises an eyebrow, scratching his ear.  
I nod. "There's not many types of flowers in the underground."  
"That's very true. Do you have a favourite from up here?"  
Should I..  
"Tulips."  
He winks and smiles. "I see."  
"Not like that!" I feel my cheeks getting hot. "Plants don't feel..like that." Or maybe that's just me.  
"I've always wondered what it'd be like to be inside a tree for a day. Is that the same, do you think?" He looks at the ceiling.  
"Well, I don't know. That's a strange thing to ask."  
"Oh, I thought you might have the answer. After all, you know both sides, don't you?"  
What.  
He knows.  
He knew?  
Maybe I'm reading too much into this. Maybe he's just saying that because I talk.  
Either way, there's no way for Asgore to know that it's Asriel. I'm safe.  
So what do I say? 'Surprise! I'm your dead son's soul inside an unfeeling lump!'  
He's trying to catch me out, isn't he! You think you're smart, kingy? I'll show you.  
But.. not right now. I have to hide Asriel. If he finds out himself, It'll ruin-  
"Flowey?"  
"What?" I growl. He interrupted my thinking. On purpose, too.  
His voice drops to a barely audible rumble.  
"I know you're that flower, Flowey."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end of the convo.  
> it's a little depressing.  
> it's short, too. so. sorry.  
> i take pity on anyone who's willing to read my trash anyway, but..

He can't! There's no way that he could remember one flower from so many!  
He's lying.. but when has dad ever lied?  
"M-me? Are you sure? You must be mistaken."  
His eyes soften more. His nose twitches.  
"Well, I could be wrong." He sits back and brings the cup to his lips. "But if you were, I'd very much like to know how it happened."  
I look away. I can't stand to see his heartbreaking face anymore.  
"Dr Alphys was... telling me the other day about a question she asked the students."  
His face lights up. "What was it?" He's clearly interested. This story, for once, is true, but it is the exact same question she asked herself those years ago.  
"What happens when something without a soul gains the will to live?"  
His eyebrows furrow and his nose wrinkles in thought. "I'm really not sure."  
No. You aren't sure, are you?  
Neither was she.  
What happens is that a mad scientist decides it's a good idea to give it a dead monster's soul and experiment on the resulting abomination.

It takes me a moment to realize that I spoke it out loud. I shrink down so my head pokes out just above the rim.  
The words were practically spat at the boss monster. I didn't mean to even say it, and so bitterly, too.  
It just slipped. I can never take that back now.  
His face takes on a distant quality. After a long period of silence, he finally whispers, "I'm sorry."  
My petals are shaking. A lump forms in the back of my throat. I want so much to finish the confession. I can't bring myself to utter those little words.  
It's your son.  
I'm your son.  
The son that you thought has been dead for years.  
The son who was always quiet and reserved, has now repeatedly murdered you and everybody here hundreds of times, and you have no memory of it.  
That this was all just a game to me.  
It's not fun anymore! I can't win.  
In the end, I've only ever lost, haven't I?  
I twist my face into a sick grin and laugh.  
I laugh at how this is the way it'll always turn out.  
I laugh at how, no matter how hard I try, or how good I am, this cruel fate will always drag victory from underneath me.  
The king stands abruptly and steps back. "Hey, now. I didn't mean for you to be hurt." He looks hurt and afraid, like his boy did in those last moments.  
I laugh because it's either this numbness or breaking down in the face of my pitiful situation.  
In the face of our father.  
Are you watching, Chara? I hope you're satisfied! You knew how to stop this!  
Why didn't you just kill me when we had the chance..? I'm too much of a coward to let go of the Determination I have left..  
Please..  
"Shut up," A voice snaps.  
I twist my head around, trying to find the source. There is none.  
I must be slowly going mad.  
Well, more mad.  
I let my mirth fizzle out and look at the king. I hate him.  
"Now, now," He speaks soothingly. "What's the matter? You're alive aren't you? If you had the Determination to live in the first place, then-"  
"You don't know anything." I let bullets rise and circle my pot. "I didn't ask for this."  
He really is stupid. He has no idea how it feels. I'm not the flower that grew years ago.  
I'm his son, twisted beyond repair. His son who should have been left to rest in peace. The flower is just a vessel for my misery.  
"I find," He sits down and leans forward on his elbows. "That talking often helps." He smiles kindly. I'll put a stop to that.  
"I'll kill you."  
I know I won't. I know he knows, too.  
I could though.  
He opens his arms out. "If that would make you happy."  
I feel my glare fall.  
"Why..are you..?"  
I don't understand..  
He smiles sadly. "It's what my son would do."  
No it isn't. That person is gone now! Your son is doing this!  
"Stop taking about him..!" I hiss.  
His eyes gloss over. "Did you know him?"  
Stop it! Stop it!  
"You sound like you miss him too. I'm sorry."  
That's it. I have had enough.  
"Your son is _dead_ , Dreemurr. No amount of Determination will bring him back! So just..just.."  
I swallow. Stupid tears cloud my vision. " _Just go away_.."  
No reply. No noise.  
Asgore's breathing goes funny for a second.  
I don't want him to go. I hate him, but only because I choose to act that way. I feel nothing. But now, for some reason, I'm genuinely sad. Despite trying to stay calm, I hear my own sobs break the silence. It's some strange blend of sensations I haven't felt for years, bubbling and rising up until I'm whimpering and wailing like an idiot.  
I look like a fool.  
I run away into one of the empty pots in Frisk's room.  
Water droplets hit the wooden shelf.  
I'm such an idiot.  
Why do I always screw things up?  
I don't feel anything for that man, so why am I so miserable?  
"Crybaby," I curse myself, and that familiar insult starts me off again.  
Chara never cried. Not even once. I wish I had her human strength. I'm sick of this! I'm tired of this! If these are feelings, then they're pretty useless.  
A sudden, loud bellow rumbles the floorboards.  
Dad's upset.  
That's the noise he made when we died.  
Is he reliving that pain?  
I should feel guilty about this, shouldn't I? but..  
Nothing. Just the strange sad bubbles, writhing in the pit of my stomach.  
Maybe it _is_ guilt.  
I just want to die. Then I'll stop hurting people.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> right this is where things turn really bizarre.  
> I never change plots from when I write them, just tidy it up.  
> So.. I guess that's my excuse (half asleep strangeness)  
> it was fun to write, at least.  
> Not so fun for you to read.  
> eh.  
> this isn't the end of odd things.

I must have dozed off. I hear faint chatter from downstairs. I stretch.  
Underneath my pot is a neatly folded piece of paper.  
I carefully unwrap it with a vine and my mouth.  
'Thought you might like this.' The writing is neat, curved, print.  
On the other side of the musty paper is a drawing of a golden flower in smudged, worn, crayon. A name sits in the corner in red wax.  
' ~~CAR~~ CHARA'  
I feel myself start to tremble. Why doesn't he just leave me alone?  
I fold it back up neatly and rock my pot until it's hidden.  
At least now I still have something to remember her by.  
This little blue pot is uncomfortable. There's not much room to stretch my roots, and plastic is too smooth and thin and generally awful.

People are in the kitchen. Nobody notices me from the living room.  
I can pick out Toriel and Asgore's voices.  
"Look what you've done."  
And another voice.  
"What have I done?" I ask it. I'm a little afraid of it.  
"You'll see."  
Then its presence is gone.  
Frisk appears right up close to my face and I lurch back.  
I'm falling-  
The pot rolls to the edge of the table.  
Frisk catches me.  
Thank god! That was far too close.  
They plop me back upright and frantically sign. "Mom's teaching me how to bake a Butterscotch - Cinnamon Pie!"  
"Was that worth telling me?"  
No. It is not.  
"We want you to help! Asgore's feeling sad, so it'll cheer him up!"  
"I can't. In case you haven't noticed, I have no hands."  
Frisk jumps up slightly on the balls of their feet to meet my height. "Mixing is really tiring. Ca-" They stop and suddenly start signing again, seeming to have another idea. "Do what you did with the souls! You'll mix really quickly like that!"  
Really?  
Is this kid honestly asking me to use my ultimate form.. to bake a pie?!  
"Are you stupid? No."  
Frisk pouts. "Please?"  
I haven't used it since.. when I killed Frisk.  
They know, too. Aren't they scared about what I've done? If I'll do it again?  
Humans really are determined.  
"It'll break through the ceiling."  
"Not if you don't make it!"  
Yep. Frisk's right. I'm running out of excuses.

"Back up." I growl. Toriel ushers Frisk out of the kitchen.  
I let that hidden power flow through me.  
Even after those resets, this time I still have the strength from the souls. I'm sure Chara has something to do with it.  
I feel it pulsing inside me. A noise of excitement escapes me.  
I could do anything I wanted, kill anything.  
My point of view becomes taller and taller. I hit the ceiling.  
I guess I have to stop here. That means I can't use my full power.  
I blink all my eyes. Suddenly I can see everything clearly. Some eyes see closer things sharper, while others see heat. The information aligns in ny head and I accustom myself to the extra insights.  
The urge to do evil is an overwhelming force.  
I roll my shoulders and pound my fists. Fire a few bullets. My jaws snap together with a satisfying crunch.  
"Come in."  
My voice surprises me again. It echoes and screeches with an unearthly vibration.  
Toriel looks surprised. "My child, how did you know about this?" She glances up at me. "Are you alright up there, my child?"  
I grin. So much better than "alright."  
A wonderful fire burns deep within the human souls. I feel alive.  
I let out a wild, frenzied, cackle.  
Frisk claps their hands. "Let's make the pie!"

From my spot on the ceiling there isn't much room, but it feels brilliant to be this height again. This energy could almost be described as euphoric.  
"Be careful near the pan, my child," Toriel lights the underneath with fire magic while blocking Frisk from getting closer. White and red flames lick the underside. It's very.. pretty. "Sugar melts at a high temperature."  
Why is she boiling sugar anyway? She adds butter and Frisk adds a generous amount of ground cinnamon. This must be the filling.  
"Flowey, will you help Frisk with the pastry? "  
I'm actually pretty comfortable up here doing nothing, but I help mix flour and clods of butter together in a few light punches. Frisk applauds.  
Something about that makes me feel fizzy and warm, but it leaves before I can work it out.  
They delicately line the inside of a dish with it. The substance from the pan does smell delicious.  
I search for a pleasant memory of Chara like this..there isn't one.  
It was always Asriel who helped Toriel cook. Chara would want to spend hours training with the king, even more than the fish.  
I don't recall her ever being satisfied either; she seemed to drift from activity to activity, not finishing any of them. To be honest, I doubt that the picture I was given was complete. She had an innate creativity, Chara, even at a young age. She always spouted strange ideas.  
"Frisk, is Flowey alright?"  
I look down and grin. I must have gotten lost in thought. "Yes, fine."  
"If you're sure, Flowey. Please be careful," Toriel adds, lifting the hot contents and pouring them into the pie shell.  
Frisk beams at me. "You did a very great job!"  
They've caught me off guard, again.  
"Of course I did." I blink and hope they don't notice that I don't believe it. My eyelids make a wet clapping sound.  
"We have to let it bake now, my children," The Queen coos. Frisk looks up at me. I look back. "What about Flowey?"  
"Flowey, do you want to.." She searches for words. "Come down?"  
Nope.  
"No."  
"Flowey, don't be mean." Frisk steps back defensively in front of the Queen.  
Me? Mean? I didn't do anything.  
Hah.  
But I haven't used this power for a long, long time. It's interesting again.  
I think about saving this moment, killing them and going back.  
It's a wonderful idea!  
"I'm never mean, am I?" I smile on the screen that makes my face.  
I laugh and fire a blast out of the window.  
"My child, please go." Toriel puts her hand on Frisk's stiff shoulders.  
If Chara was here..I want her to be watching.  
Frisk shakes their head. Their soul thumps. Are they trying to fight me? Oh, I'll gladly fight.  
A hailstorm of bullets sprays the kitchen. Toriel shouts. "My child! Please-" Frisk dodges my attack and sighs. "Mom, get somewhere safe."  
Toriel frowns, and a look of recollection fills her eyes. She hugs the human and runs - well, waddles- into the living room.  
"So it's like this again, is it?"  
Oh, this is good. This is interesting. I can do what I like, and I can just put it back to normal. Why didn't I think of this sooner?!  
"Flowey. Why."  
Frisk never speaks to anyone but me. It's puzzling. One day I hope to find out.  
The sound of my bullets ricocheting off the window makes them cower with their hands over their ears. They're shaking. A few brush past their head.  
"Think you can defeat me!"  
They don't move.  
I suddenly don't feel like I should..  
I hit them with a vine. Frisk cries out.  
This.. isn't right.  
No.  
"Fight me!" It's no fun if the human won't run.  
Their hair's covering their eyes, but I hear them sobbing. "Flowey.." Frisk takes a ragged breath.  
"..Friends.."  
A lump forms in the back of my throat. That feeling is returning.. When were we friends? What is a friend? I've forgotten how..  
Asriel and Chara were siblings, but did that make them companions?  
That night days ago with Chara- something felt different that time.  
Frisk is rocking back and forth.  
Is the human sick? They only have 2 hp.  
This was a bad idea. But didn't I want to kill them before?  
My thoughts keep getting confused. Something's wrong.  
"Frisk!"  
"You're an idiot."  
What? Did they just..no. It can't have been.  
I put it to the back of my mind.  
They sit, covering their eyes and ears and moaning softly.  
"Frisk!"  
No response.  
"My child!" Asgore barrels in and roars, scooping up the trembling figure in his broad arms.  
Toriel waits in the doorway to accept the child. She must have told him. A round head lingers behind her.  
The king looks up at me, sadly. "Is this how you want to be?" He shouts as if the wind from the barrier is howling around him. He holds his cloak tightly around his shoulders against the icy chill.  
Yes. As it should be. He extinguishes the flame in the oven and tosses Toriel the undercooked pie. "Please feed Frisk, Toriel." She nods, troubled, and closes the door behind her.  
Looking back to me, not having to tip his head back far, he talks again. "Did I do this to you? Was this that mad scientists' fault?"  
I say nothing but prepare a hyper beam in my jaws. The king shakes his head.  
"I don't want to have to fight you. You don't want this either."  
He might be right, but I'm not backing down now. If something goes wrong I'll just load.  
He carries on. "Are you sad? Is it something I said? Whatever it is, you can tell me, child. I'll fix it."  
If only he could. I can't cry in this form apparently, so I'm safe.  
We both seem to wait for the other to do something.  
"I'm.."  
His eyes focus dead on me. I can feel another pair watching me somewhere too.  
"Don't you dare," a voice snarls.  
I stay silent.  
The king shuffles.  
"Why don't we talk. Just you and I."  
I don't want to. I just want to win.  
Movement through the glass door catches my eye. Papyrus and Undyne have joined the crowd. I'm not some freak show. I'm not entertainment. Funny how I hate it when the tables are turned.  
"So you were baking, weren't you."  
I'm not answering. There's no reason to.  
"And then this happened. Where did you get this body from?"  
Like Asgore really needs to know that I stole the souls in another timeline.  
"It looks very strong. It's impressive."  
Flattery will get you nowhere, 'father'.  
"But you must have another soul in there somewhere, for all that power."  
I stretch my limbs and part of the ceiling chips away.  
"I'm not angry. I just want you to be happy." His voice is level and calm, with a paternal edge.  
This man is the biggest imbecile of all.  
"Just like I want all of monsterkind to be happy.. I want my children to be happy."  
Children? What does he mean by children? Asriel and Chara? Frisk?  
I hear Undyne whisper something but I can't make it out. It's impossible for her to shut up.  
Before he can make more conversion, I unleash the power I'd built up directly at him. A shaft of solid white light shoots through his soul.  
"Stop this!" Toriel shouts but Undyne holds her back. I keep the beam going until his eyes glaze over. His hp drops to 1. Asgore clutches his chest and pants. He holds himself up with a palm on the floor.  
In a flash of grey and gold light, Sans appears inbetween him and my line of fire. I fire again and an elaborate weave of bones surrounds the area where he was. The lazy sack is now perched on the sink.  
He keeps dodging my attacks; bullets and all.  
I've got it. He won't let Asgore die.  
The bullets and vines and bulbs shoot out towards the king.  
They never reach him.  
"SANS!" Papyrus skids into the kitchen, almost comically.  
Picking himself up from the ground, Sans sways, the corners of his smile down-turned into a grimace. A red liquid oozes from a crack in his teeth and drips down his chin and from his jaw, into his ribs.  
"SANS! BROTHER!" Papyrus cries out and hesitates near where the shorter sibling stands. They both look like they could shatter in a puff of wind.  
Sans doesn't even seem to notice the tears streaming down Papyrus' face, or that he's even there. He takes two steps towards the window.  
"I'm going to Grillbyz. Paps..do you.. want anything..?"  
His voice emerges uncharacteristically hollow. Papyrus touches his shoulder gently-

Sans' bones systematically disintegrate into a fine grey-blue powder. His skull lingers with his eyes extinguished, the magic gone, and turns to dust.  
This situation is just what I'd wanted for months, years even.  
I don't feel contented in the slightest.  
Every time he's died, the last thing he spoke of was Papyrus. He's said that particular line the most, however.  
"Isn't my brother..cool?"  
"Take care of.. Paps.."  
"I'm coming to see you..brother.."  
At least the human dead resemble their former selves.  
Asgore is still knelt, incapacitated, metres away from his guard's remains. Papyrus stares down at it, not quite registering what's going on.  
I can practically see the cogs turning. He's always been my favourite to ruin. Even in the face of everything I've done in the past, he's seen the good in it.  
I've never let him watch his brother die before.  
Suddenly a wailing, shuddering howl rises up from the lanky creature. I never thought he could make such a noise!  
Papyrus sinks to the tiles with his hands covering his face, repeating his brother's name more and more garbled until it becomes a jumble of noises with no meaning.  
Alphys who must have been there all along takes a silent Frisk upstairs. Toriel hoists Asgore shakily to his feet, barely conscious, and away from the dead.  
Undyne, for once, is shocked too.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Her gills flare out gulping air and she glares at me, rooted to the spot. Unable to fight. Like her power does to everyone else.  
"B-BROTHER, BROTHER.." He cradles the old jacket that his Sans favoured in his bony arms, bawling into it.  
It's interesting to see this reaction, but..  
"Now. Look what you have done."  
I'm looking.  
I see nothing but pain.  
A strangled moan sounds out from somewhere and with a start I realize it's me.  
This form's crying isn't too dissimilar to Papyrus'.  
"Shut up or the fish is next." I spit. I'm embarrassed and he'll pay for it.  
He hiccups and tries to stop. Papyrus is genuinely pathetic, but that's his charm.  
"Isn't she worth that? Your brother is the only one dead. Let's keep it that way."  
"No, There's one more! You're fucking next!" Undyne leaps onto the counter and raises a spear. Her pointed teeth are gritted in a twisted, feral snarl. Without warning she rapidly shoots a barrage of arrows at me. They bounce off my defences like water.  
I guess even if she'd made me green I would do the same thing. There's no room to dodge up here.  
"Nnaaghhh!" She hurls a glowing spear at one of my eyes. Blink. It's deflected.  
Watching her get more and more angry is good fun. I wonder why their reactions today are so extreme.  
It's because I've just given them a taste of happiness, and now I'll tear it away from them.  
They should know it's kill or be killed.  
But it doesn't have to be this way, does it? It wasn't at all like that until now.  
"Who the hell gives you the right to kill people?!" She screams, twirling a spear around her head.  
"Maybe the same person who gave you the right to kill me. "  
She stumbles over a response, much like Alphys. "This is self defence!"  
"I haven't even touched you. Yet."  
"Look at Papyrus, plant! He doesn't even know what's going on! You're no worse than those frigging humans that killed Asgore's children! You're fucking scum!" Undyne screams and throws the spear at me.  
I'm not like the humans.  
I'm not like the monsters. What am I?  
"Why won't you fight me! Too afraid?!" She wipes a strand of red hair out of her face. She bounces on the balls of her feet.  
No. Okay then, I'll give her what she wants.  
"Are you faster than a speeding bullet, fish?" She braces herself, her muscles tensing like coils in a spring, ready to defend..  
I fire a single, slow moving pellet at her soul. She growls, sidestepping. "Stop screwing around with me!!"  
Asgore slumps at the door and looks up. "F..Flowey, stop this."  
"You're right, Asgore. I'll stop this."  
I box the fish in so she can't run, and shoot embarrassingly slow bullets at her. Undyne yells and swears and tries to free her soul, until she has no strength left to shout abuse at me. Her flesh drips away in clumps of congealed blue, mixing with her furious tears. Dust and viscid flesh drips from her fingertips, and turns to dust in small pools.  
"I won't.. I won't.."  
It's probably the most unheroic death possible. I'll have to remember that one.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. things get ~really~ REALLY f-ed up here.  
> like, uh..  
> uh..  
> i have no apology. ;;

Papyrus looks across at the new dust with bleary, small eyes. "Un.." His words catch in his throat and he shakily reaches for the spear left behind. It's no longer glowing with magic, just a tarnished, metal point. The skeleton holds it, staring. He has no more energy for sadness. Just numb. Like me.  
"Flowey, I demand you return to flower form at once!" Asgore, for the first time in any of my Resets, has shouted in anger. I'm not sure where this extra strength came from. Maybe pie.  
He draws himself up to his full height. "You are now..b-banished to the Underground!"  
Toriel appears at his side. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"  
The king takes no notice. "Return to being a flower NOW, or I will be forced to ask the humans to of..offer their strength!" He braces himself on the fridge.  
Oh. shit.  
This... is an interesting development.  
It would be humiliating to back down so late in the game. I do sort of want to see the humans too.  
"Okay. You win," my voice rattles the broken window and the pans hung on the wall. He looks mildly surprised.  
"But let me talk to you a second before I have to go."  
The king crouches into a battle position. "Proceed. "  
"And the Queen."  
Toriel steps forward hesitantly and nods. "If you wish."  
"So, King and Queen Dreemurr. How does it feel?"  
"What are you referring to?" Asgore asks.  
"How does it feel having everything taken from you?"  
For a moment I wonder where the lizard went, but she's probably hiding in a closet somewhere.  
They both don't reply. Their faces take on the same torn expression.  
"Oh. Maybe you can answer this one. It's tough."  
Toriel bows her head in acknowledgement.  
"How does it feel..Knowing Your Son Is A Murderer."  
Toriel seems to understand first. She clamps a paw to her mouth, eyes weepy and wide.  
"Still don't get it, kingy? Maybe this will help."  
"I. AM. ASRIEL." With each word I wrap a vine around Papyrus' arms. On my cursed name I pull his bones apart, and the cartilage creaks. The pathetic creature begins blubbering some nonsense about love, and I finally separate his limbs with a chilling snap. Splinters of bone from his now mangled joints fly away from their owner and dissolve midair.  
Fractures spiral around the empty ball sockets but before I get a good look, Papyrus' body crumbles.  
His dust clings to the sap on my vines. The rest mingles with his brother's remains and the other filth that's on the ground.  
Asgore steps back.  
"So, what are you going to do now, huh? Pretty bad decision."  
Toriel silently cries. Tears matt the fur on her cheeks. They both say nothing.  
This is boring. Why won't they speak?!  
"You're going to answer me, Toriel." I show her face for a moment on the flickering screen.  
She swallows. "What do you want me to say, Asriel?"  
It's a bit of a relief that it's out there. Now I can torment them. And then put things back.  
"What are you going to do now?"  
She opens her mouth. "And before you answer, don't start drivelling on about love and happy families. I hate the pair of you."  
She pauses, tugging on the front of her dress.  
For emphasis, I carry on. Her face is too entertaining to let her take control of the interaction.  
"I've been a flower for longer than you've been alive." True. Time only resets for them. "Everything that made Asriel the person he used to be was stolen from me in a single careless experiment."  
I grin and cackle. "It's your turn to know what it feels like."  
I hold her down and nonchalantly flick a bulb at Asgore. He disintegrates.  
One last thing. Then I'll reset.  
"So. You're all alone now."  
Toriel shudders, unable to tear her gaze from Asgore's ashes.  
"Go ahead. Cry for help."  
She croaks a small plea for mercy and I tighten my grip around her neck to cut the words.  
We wait.  
"But nobody came."  
With her teeth gritted tight she stifles the sound of her crying. She bravely meets my gaze.  
"If you really are Asriel," Toriel whispers, "I'll still love you."  
At those words, in a fit of anger and despair and guilt and sadness and something else..  
I kill my mother.

My strange echoing moans gradually morph into a more recognisable noise.  
When I open my eyes again I'm on the floor, sobbing.  
I'm surrounded by the smell of death. I rock my pot. Dust underneath it crunches like salt. This must be the queen's. From experience, different types of monster have different textures for their dust.  
I look around to the black boots and the red scarf and the violet cloak. The dress with the Delta Rune embroidered on it.  
Everybody is gone.  
I didn't mean for this to happen.  
Now that I haven't got all that extra power and Determination running through the souls, I don't feel.. powerful. Stupid observation.  
But I'm not blinded by it anymore.  
What have I done.  
_What have I done_.  
All they were trying to do was protect their family. My mother, in her last moments, accepted me. She didn't think I was evil. Even though I am.  
Quiet footsteps creep down the stairs. A shadow covers my pot and I'm forced to look up.  
Frisk.  
The human.  
Is looking at me.  
"I-I- " I hiccup, my breaths useless. "I'm s-so sorry, I-"  
Frisk shakes their head slowly.  
Her eyes open. Her relaxed lips curl into a smirk. "What _have_ you done?"  
Chara is back.  
I'm speechless. There is nothing to say.  
"You've made quite a mess, partner."  
I nod.  
"I've never seen this happen before." She gestures to the destroyed room and dust.  
"I knew there was something different this time. Don't you feel excited?"  
"Ch..How are you-"  
Anticipating my question, she answers. "Frisk is fairly unstable at this time. I came down to say hello. Did you miss me?"  
I don't move.  
"Take a guess at what has happened."  
"W..what?" I am not expecting good news.  
"Alphys went to take Frisk upstairs, did she not?"  
I nod.  
"After you killed Undyne, she jumped out of the window." For some reason, the girl seems pleased with this outcome. "Come look," She picks me up roughly and walks to the back yard, forcing the lock on the door.  
I have no power over her at all. I'm weak.  
I must not have noticed while I was fighting, but a tangle of scaly yellow flesh is crumpled by the back wall. A thin stream of orange magic rises from a gash on her face.  
Her eyes are shut, and her glasses are bent.  
A stain covers her ever-pristine lab coat. Something about that makes me more upset.  
"What do you notice, my flower?"  
Her legs twist back at unnatural angles.  
Curiously, some of the scales on her hands have fallen off, exposing pale, leathery flesh.  
But..  
Dr. Alphys is not dust.  
She isn't dead.  
"That's correct."  
I didn't say anything. Chara pats my head patronisingly. I hate it.  
"Get off," I hiss, before realizing it was a bad move.  
"What did you just say to me?"  
She raises an eyebrow with a twitch of her upper lip.  
"N..nothing."  
"Correct." She pats my head again once, decisively, and laughs; nudging Alphys with her foot. "She was the only one who was actually trying, and she still failed. The irony is..pleasing."  
What is she doing..?  
"That lizard really is useless."  
"No she isn't."  
"Have you seen yourself?"  
Chara's right. She did fail me. She failed the amalgamates. She failed herself too. I nearly scoff at how pathetic a creature Alphys is. She _is_ better off dead.  
"Go on. You now have a chance to redeem yourself, Flowey. Finish the task you began."  
I look down at the still creature. It's painful to think that Alphys had given up hope, but unsurprising.  
"What are you waiting for, petal? Show me that we are worthy to be partners." Chara sounds excited, but it has a darker undercurrent.  
I can't find the will the summon it, so I just curl my petals around my face. It's not even dark. The light shines through my petals, highlighting the veins running through them.  
I didn't want this to happen.  
"Stop being such a crybaby," Chara sighs. "You'd be merciful. Look at how much pain she'll be in if you don't do anything."  
No. I can't. Not after just before. Not after..  
A thin breeze rustles the hedges on either side.  
A tiny hand curls around my stem and tugs upward, a warning that it could uproot me any second. "She won't even feel a thing," Chara growls.  
"No. I-"  
"What did you just say?!" Chara pushes her face to mine and twists it into a decaying, ghoulish smile. A whimper escapes me.  
"Kill the lizard or I'll kill you," she snarls.  
Kill or be killed.  
Just like before.  
"I never once thought you would become like them. We have eradicated any threat to our throne. Yet you won't even claim what is rightfully ours."  
She settles down and her face returns to her innocent smile. I look down at Alphys' mangled flesh.  
"Go on," she coaxes me like a weird puppy. "Don't you want revenge for what that lizard has done?" Her tone is clearly tired of me avoiding the job.  
"Chara," I mumble.  
"Yes, petal?"  
"Toriel and Asgore s-"  
"What about those old fools?"  
"They said they loved us."  
"No. Toriel said she loved you. And she was lying."  
"Wha-"  
"Do you really think anybody would care about you now? Mortal people have a pathetic tendency to beg before their death."  
Could it be true? Chara wouldn't lie to me, but she sounds so different now than she did before..  
She watches me again and lets out an exasperated groan. Irritation drips from her tone. "You know killing isn't hard. That's why I came. You called me through your actions, didn't you? You and I, we could finish what you started. We could rule the surface. "  
"I don't want to."  
"Petal, You already made your choice." Chara smiles. "However. If you are so desperate to cling on to this empty world, then I can't stop you."  
This could all be erased. I could save their souls. I could reload.  
"But even if you go back, my flower. You'll always know. And I'll always know. I know every little thing. You will always return to me, partner."  
I start shaking. The wind whips the tails of Alphys' lab coat.  
Chara sits cross-legged on the step. "We'll wait here until you decide between family or those destined to die at your hand once again." She snaps her fingers. The birds that have flown overhead return to their starting position and move again.  
"We have all the time in the world together, petal."  
I don't want to kill Alphys. But the words from Chara's first visit echo in my head. "and leave me for dead."  
Was she bluffing? If this run is different, how can she know?  
A thin breeze rustles the hedges on either side.  
"Have you come to a decision?"  
I nod.  
"Before you tell me, I shall make this more interesting." Chara summons the real knife from thin air, the colours slowly blending together and creating a solid weapon. It looks like the stunt took a great amount of stolen determination. It twists between her nimble fingers. Sunlight stains the blade. She holds her arm out.  
The wind whips the tails of Alphys' lab coat.  
"If you are so motivated by this "love"," she lets her grin fall and looks away from me.  
"Then let me confess. I love you."  
Before the words fully ring out, they're snatched away on a well-timed breeze.

She's lying. She must be.  
Chara's like me. She can't.. or was she hiding it to make me feel better?  
Or is she lying now to make me stay with her?  
I don't feel it, but I want it. But that isn't true, because if it was why am I crying again?  
"Flowey," She whispers, and I look up to see her beam back at me. "It's time to decide."  
She laughs like a maniac and clicks her fingers again, saving this moment. The action is just for show.  
The blade rips through her- Frisk's- flesh in the crook of her elbow mercilessly. Blood of a sickly dark shade sprays from the severed veins and arteries. I shout. She giggles at my panic.  
"My death or theirs," She taunts.  
Chara prods the ragged skin on either side, her face growing pale. The area surrounding the gash is puckered and swollen, but the real damage lies inside, from where the liquid is pulsing out at a dangerous rate, splattering onto the pave stones. Gritting her teeth, Chara gingerly presses the wound and a gentle blush creeps into her pasty cheeks again. The girl crosses her legs tightly.  
Time jolts. I feel a slight discomfort, like a memory that has just slipped out of reach. It's new so I don't mind.  
The wound is gone.  
She cuts again, this time a deep laceration to her thigh, running all the way to her knee. Half-laughing the girl twists the knife and removes it, inspecting the chunks of bloody flesh stuck in the ridges. She looks slightly appalled. Bundles of muscle and sinews and the slashed artery are exposed, and she flexes her leg to observe the grisly result; blood sprays when it contracts.  
I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do! My breathing chokes.  
I'm going to load them back. Then Chara won't be hurt too.  
I open my eyes.  
I'm still in the garden.  
Chara is still bleeding. Alphys is still there.  
Why isn't it working.  
I try again.  
Still nothing.  
My heart beats faster, like Asriel's when he was running-  
"What's going on?!"  
"It's n-nice to see..where your loyalties lie."  
"No, it's not that!"  
"You know n-nothing happens until I..say so."  
She saves seconds before a fat bumble bee whizzes by my face and reloads it.  
"What do I need to do?"  
"I'll give you a..choice, bec..because I'm n-nice." Chara breathes heavily and squirms, bound by unexpected physical weakness.  
"K-Kill Alphys or wait for me to die."  
The bee is allowed to go on with its journey.  
Time resumes normally again.  
"Tock. Tick."  
I don't want to kill Chara. I don't want to kill Alphys either.  
Will both return if I Reset? I won't be murdering Chara if I wait, will I? Not like if I were to kill Alphys..  
Why am I being so stubborn? It'd be easy to kill her. And then I'd bring her back.  
But for some reason I can't bring myself to do it. I resolve to find out why some time.  
Chara is leaned back against the wall by the steps. Blood is forming a gritty puddle underneath her. It smells salty and coppery. It soaks her jumper. She's whimpering and twitching, muttering something about hands.  
I've already seen my sister die once.  
"Chara, are you awake?"  
Her eyelids flutter open. Her mouth is no longer smiling. For a moment she looked just like Frisk. I guess she would, since it's their body. Her tiny frame convulses jerkily without warning.  
"I'm sorry." I whisper, tears pricking the back of my eyes.  
She closes her eyes again takes a sharp breath in. "I..won't.." The rest of Chara's words are unintelligible. Her mouth moves but only a sigh escapes.  
"What?"  
"..come back."  
She won't come back.  
She'll be dead?  
That's not how it works.  
Even though It's Frisk's body, I'm scared.  
"Reload your save again. You'll die."  
Her fingers relax and the knife clatters to the floor. Her heels scrape against the patio in a spasm. She cries out, panting. Her head smacks into the wall. Neither of us expected this death to be so violent, it seems. I have no doubt that if either of us knew, she wouldn't have chose this ending.  
"I'm very tired of.. playing." She breathes, grimacing, writhing. "No Determination left in..this soul. With the weakened..human body. I'll let go..hh..here."  
Is this my fault? Because I wouldn't stay with her?  
I just wanted for everyone to be safe.  
Before I know what I'm doing, I've wrapped a vine around her cold hands. I keep her upright with one around her waist, and I'm holding her close to me, reaching up to my full height. As I move her, Chara lets out a frail moan. Locked in pain and tension from other muscles, her mouth is unable to speak. A sudden spasm jolts her forward but she isn't awake to feel it, and I can't keep her body still. I don't know what's going on. I'm scared. Is this what dying as a human is like?  
Chara's heart trembles with nothing to go in it. I feel sorry for her. Warped gasps sound in her throat, but no air fills her lungs.  
Strangley, I feel nothing for the other monster who's also dying nearby.  
A wisp of a smile touches her face and her lips part slightly.  
"Chara."  
There's a faint shattering sound and I know that her soul is in pieces. I absorb them and, thankfully, feel no different. It's a strange act of sentimentality.  
The smile lingers. Only in death was she happy.  
"Chara."  
I know she won't answer. I know that in all of the timelines she created chaos in she's gone. I set her limp head down. Frisk's lifeless shell twitches occasionally with whatever energy is left. The garden reeks of death.  
Part of me is sad that there's no legacy left behind for Asriel's sister. Part of me is happy that maybe those monsters have a chance.  
Then I remember all of the lives I've ruined, the many past games I've played just to tear families apart.  
I have no tears to cry.  
I close my eyes and hope I can escape.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay this is totally weeby and pathetic BUT  
> IT HAPPENED IN A DREAM  
> so i wanted to write it~  
> ehehe

"Flowey, why?"  
Frisk's tiny voice calls through the darkness.  
I thought for certain that on the surface it wouldn't work, but it did. I'm back in the kitchen, hunched in the ceiling.  
I think carefully about what I should say next. Toriel is hiding just out of the doorway. Outside, grass is smouldering from a previous blast.  
"I'm sorry."  
And I am.  
"It's okay. _Please come down now_."  
Was that it?  
Was that all I had to say to.. to stop..  
I feel my power ebbing and I shrink down.  
I emerge from my pot, crying.  
Frisk mumbles soothing words and pats my head. Like Chara did.  
Toriel bustles in. "Children, are you alright?"  
"Sorry about the window," I take a breath in.  
"Don't worry about it. I thought you were going to fight for a moment there!" She sits with us. "I don't want either of you to get hurt, my children."  
I feel hurt. Because of what I've just seen and how easily things are reversed.  
How much of an idiot am I?  
I dive into my pot and upstairs.  
I feel empty now my best friend is dead again.  
I try to avoid questioning her motivation for her confession, and let myself ease into nightmares. I deserve them tonight.

My murdering Toriel in all those other lives keeps me half-awake in that space where you beg for the hallucinations to stop because it has to be a dream.  
Her snout has a gash on the left side.  
In another she was strung up outside New Home for the spiders and mice. Her eyes are gone; sunken, raw pits; Asgore killed himself at the sight of her decaying flesh, swaddled in disease.  
Flies sat on his cold snout and drifted between the two Dreemurr.

Eventually the paralysis eases and I see the sunlight obscured.  
What day is it? I don't even care.  
I sit awhile, thinking about everything.  
Chara was brave enough to release her soul. I wonder where broken souls go after that?  
There wouldn't be a place for me there.  
Birdsong drifts through the window, much like the birds you could hear in the throne room through the boundary.  
"Flowey-darling~!" An overly cheerful Mettaton struts in, dramatically flinging the door open. "You're just what we need!"  
He closes one eye and uses two hands to make a square around my face. He's a moron.  
I groan. They all have a habit of bothering me in the morning. "Go away."  
He mock swoons. "Oh my! It's perfect!" Wrapping his arms around his chest he continues. "The wonderful maiden, playing hard to get!"  
What.  
"I don't care."  
"You're the perfect fit for the role! Don't you want to be a star~!" He can't even talk without posing.  
"No, actually."  
"You'll be paid, of course," He carries on. "And they'll all be kind and-"  
"I have no use for money."  
He flicks his hair and puts his forefinger on his chin. "Well then, we'll have to find a suitable alternative~!" He winks. Why did he just make that sentence into a perverted statement?  
Maybe it's the "Mettaton effect". Alphys should investigate it.  
Even though I'm against working for him, it might clear my head to do something different.  
"Fine."  
"Fabulous~! I knew you'd come around!"  
"What happens now?"  
"The people are visiting today to drop off the next script, so I'll introduce you! We've been looking for a person for your role!"  
I'm beginning to regret this.  
"What is my part?"  
He sticks his tongue out. "You'll see~!"  
At that, Mettaton prances away. I'm a little bored, so I might see what became of that pie. When I can be bothered.  
For now, I'll go outside.  
It puzzles me that I don't do this more often; I can emerge wherever there's soil, even in the cracks in the pavements.  
Suddenly filled with Determination, I decide to go see the human world properly.

The buildings are all crammed together, seeming to loom out over the street. It looks like a market square.  
Humans seem to always be in a rush. Constantly moving, towards what? They have everything up here. Don't they share what they have?  
If they don't, they really are selfish.  
Greedy.  
Isn't that what Chara called them?  
She never really liked to talk to Asriel about it much.

"You never told me why you climbed Ebott, y'know."  
Crayons and paints litter the floor. I'm painting an Astigmatism, and my sister is practising her maths. She always tries to better herself.  
Without looking up, she asks "Why do you want to know so badly?"  
Good question. In truth I'm just nosy.  
"They say that people never come back, and you aren't silly enough to go."  
She switches to a blue crayon. She swings her legs, layed on her front.  
"Maybe I got lost."  
"No you didn't. Why won't you tell me? We're family. " I hear her sniff at that, but I ignore it.  
"Humans are not very nice," She sighs, tipping her head to face me.  
"You're a human too."  
"I am more monster than human."  
"I don't get it." I sound a little dumb. My sister shrugs and furiously scribbles out a problem, and rewrites it with purpose.  
"I would choose monsters over humans every time. Monsters are not nasty."  
"What did the humans do? You aren't bad."  
"Humans are mean and greedy and evil. They do what they want and do not care about anybody else. Monsters all care about each other." She scowls, annoyed.  
I feel like it wouldn't be a good idea to push further. "Okay," I look back to my painting and finish his eye.  
Are they that bad? I mean, they trapped us down here, but because they were scared of us. I've never met anyone who fits my sister's description. Maybe she's right.  
her shoulders shake, and I want to ask if she's okay. I reach out, and she turns around before I make contact.  
"Hungry. Want some pie?" She stands and offers me a hand up. She grabs it tightly, protectively. It's quite a rare occurrence for my sister to openly show affection.  
We leave our bedroom together, holding hands.

I never did find out what had made her hate humanity so much. Asgore said that one day when I was old enough he'd tell me, but that never happened.  
I'm in a mossy pot outside a shop front.  
There's an abundance of new sensations here, and I feel giddy. This is the sort of place where things are continually changing in a fast paced blur, unlike the stagnant underground.  
See? You don't have to kill to find new experiences.  
The little chimes on the door jingle when it opens, like the inn at Snowdin.  
I peer through the window but end up only seeing my face. I quickly turn around.  
There aren't many monsters around here. Most folk moved further away from Mt Ebott.  
A dog at the end of a rope gets a little too close for comfort, and I bob into various other places along the street.  
Cars smell horrible, like the garbage dump and steam from Hotland.  
In the back of some parked ones they have little stuffed toys or swaying plastic flowers. I want one. I don't think I'll be able to steal it.  
So supermarkets have to sell plants too, right? Will they sell the car flowers? Toriel and Papyrus always go, so it must be good.  
It's so loud. I've never seen so many people! They all wear different things, but there's patterns between they way humans talk and what they wear.  
Actually, a very small number are clothed in MTT shirts. The rust bucket has done pretty well for himself.  
I've never been in a shop this big- no, any building this big before.  
I think I'm in a gardening bit, and I'm sat in a bust bag of dirt. As if they don't have enough on the surface already. How do you even make dirt?!  
Asgore would like this place. There are hundreds of rows of little packets of seeds and bright watering cans. There's one that looks like a pink elephant.  
There are no golden flowers here though. I vaguely remember the king refusing to give some to a human friend, so it doesn't surprise me. Knowing humans though, he'll find a way to get one eventually.  
I spend a while drifting through this aisle, looking at hundreds of things I've never seen. None of the shoppers notice me.  
A few bottles much bigger than me hold a strong smelling liquid. When I read the side I promptly get away. "Weedkiller".  
Do humans like to deliberately grow plants then? Do they hold any importance? But they have things to kill them too.  
Another flask has a painfully bright picture of a sunflower. "Keep your plants happy!"  
What? Do surface flowers all talk?  
Am I not alone? I haven't seen any, but they could just be hiding.  
Then again, Asriel never saw any talking flowers in the village.  
In any case, I want some. I can't carry it down with me, so I have to leave it behind.  
What was I here for again? I realize that none of the other rows of goods will have any soil on the ground, so I give up the hunt for the plastic swaying flower.

Butterscotch cinnamon pie tastes better than I remember. I'm trying to savour it but I have no self control when it comes to Mom's baking. Sans and Papyrus wander in mid conversation and catch me with a huge piece sticking out of my mouth.  
"HELLO FLOWEY! IT'S GOOD ISN'T IT?"  
I chew and nod, watching Sans' expression. He stares at me with his hands in his pockets. Papyrus reaches up to the top cupboard and hands Sans a box of cereal. There's a small white dog on the front. "Thanks Paps."  
"DO YOU WANT A BOWL?" The younger sibling asks, getting one anyway.  
"I could've got that, bro. " His eyes give away his gratitude, since his mouth doesn't do much.  
Papyrus turns around and gets the milk from the lowest spot in the fridge. "C'mon now Paps, you're just being mean," He playfully nudges him and pours the food.  
It looks like little brown and green bones.  
Sans crunches it, not seeming to notice that it's dog food.  
"Hey Paps, you're good with human kids right?"  
"OF COURSE!"  
"Toriel asked me to go to this school thing, and.."  
Papyrus beams. "I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WOULD LOVE TO HELP YOU AVOID RESPONSIBILITY THIS TIME! NYEHEHEH!"  
"Gee, thanks. " He shrugs. "Seriously though, you're a life saver."  
Sans glances at me after saying that and takes another bite. He reaches for the ketchup and turns to me and the half-empty pie dish. "You want any of this, Flowey?"  
I shake my head. It's horrible anyway, let alone on something sweet.  
Someone knocks on the door and Papyrus rushes to answer it, his red scarf trailing behind him.  
The room is startlingly quiet. Sans drinks the thick, red, milky concoction at the bottom of the bowl. It runs down his chin.  
I shuffle back. It's just like..  
Sans' eye sockets grow familiarly dark, then lighten, as if he's thinking of the same thing.  
He shrugs once, wipes his face with his sleeve and looks dead at me, emotionless.  
"Thank you."

I blink and he's gone. The spoon clatters to the floor but the bowl is nowhere to be seen.  
Unfamiliar voices are coming from the living room, and Mettaton opens the door, spins on his heel and points at me. "Flowey! This is your big debut!"  
"Right. I forgot." I hadn't, but wish that the tin can did. I guess a robot wouldn't forget.  
He hoists me up and, dancing, makes his way to the three people sat on the sofa.  
"These are the people who work for the television," He sticks his tongue out, pointing to each of them in turn with a different flair. "This is Ben, this is John and this is Toriel! Just joking, this lovely lady is Melissa ~!"  
They all smile and wave enthusiastically. Ben has thick stubble and is fairly fat, John is slender and is holding a case full of cables and Melissa has naturally blonde hair and unnaturally white teeth.  
"Everyone, this is Flowey the flower!"  
I think my confusion must be clear when Melissa says to me, "Darling, do you know what you're doing here?"  
"Nope."  
Ben sits up and grins. "Mettaton, if you could do the honours."  
"Oh yes! I forgot to tell you, Flowey!" He sits down and holds me up to face level. "Well, as you know, Alphys is really into human animation. I've convinced these lovely people to let us do the voice acting for the English version of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie! Isn't that fabulous!"  
No. It is not 'fabulous'. Why did I agree to this in the first place?  
"Oh, but it's a se~cret! But you wouldn't go telling, would you?" He laughs.  
Seeing my face reflecting my feelings towards this, Melissa adds, "You're perfect for the part of the mind-reading, tsundere cat princess Momo-chan!"


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UNDYNE X ALPHYS FLUFF  
> FLOWEY BEING AWKWARD  
> DRUNK ASGORE  
> ahuhuhu justsome of the things you will see in this shit.

Before I have a chance to object, scripts are being neatly passed around. John, the most quiet speaks up. "Don't be nervous, Flowey. All of Alphys' friends have done parts too. Even Undyne." I like him the most. His words aren't overly dramatic.  
Down to earth John.  
But am I really a friend of Dr. Alphys'?  
I didn't kill her, I suppose.  
"We'll fill in the other bits so it isn't really awkward." Ben nods at Mettaton.  
When it's my part, I forget to speak. And then screw it up.  
I really, really don't like this. And why am I being a girl anyway?!  
"Hey, you're too tense. Try and speak like you would normally. "  
After countless tries and retries and practicing little bits I start to get the hang of this voice-acting thing. Actually, I start to enjoy it a bit. If I ignore how much of an idiot it makes me look.  
"D-Don't be stupid! I don't love him!"

It's nearly time for Frisk, Undyne and Alphys to come home by the time we've finished recording. It's pretty tiring just talking for hours.  
"Great job, Flowey-darling!" the robot winks as he shuts the door behind them.  
"Alphys has been down lately, so we're hoping this might help her." His eyes look lost and distant for a moment.  
It's a nice, even if a little strange, gesture.  
We go back into the living room and he swings a leg over the other, perching on the arm of Toriel's armchair. "So, as promised, we have to find something to pay you in. Sans wanted ketchup. He's really forceful when he wants to be! We had to give him a month's worth!" He counts people on his fingers. I nod.  
"Papyrus wanted a pirate flag and a basket ball..Asgore wanted a barbeque, for some reason. Tori asked for snails. They're really hard to find up here! Oh, but we had to draw the line at spiders. Muffet would have filled the bakery with them, and it would have been closed." Mettaton pouts.  
What do I want? There's no point in asking for Asriel's body back, or Chara, or any number of impossible things.  
I've got it.  
"Anything?" I ask. This might sound odd.  
"Anything your heart desires~!" He winks in a suggestive way.  
"Have you seen.. in the human cars.." Is there a name for them? Oh god, this is embarrassing.  
"The little..moving.. flowers."  
Mettaton thinks, then clicks his fingers. I'm sure it's a sound effect. "The solar powered ones? Like this?" He puts his arms out and tips from side to side.  
I nod.  
"Of course, Darling!"  
I'm genuinely not sure why I like it so much.  
I smile, really smile. He seems pleased. He puts his hands to his cheeks. "Oh my, aren't you cute~?'  
No. I bare my fangs.  
"Was there anything else, Flowey-darling?"  
I think.  
This could be a good opportunity for a lot of things. I think about saving, but banish the thought.  
"Fertilizer."  
"Fertilizer?"  
"With the sunflower on the front."  
He looks like he's on the verge of laughter. "Why!"  
"I'm a plant, idiot."  
"Oh! I forgot!" His hidden mirth fades. Could he have really forgotten? Stupid. Maybe he can see the soul inside me. That's a more stupid thought than him.  
"Okay then~!" He stands and points both fingers at me. "You were wonderful today! A star!"  
And at that he leaves the room, humming.  
This constant fluctuation of events and people is satisfying on a lower level. It's good to see new things, and for me, I guess, it's quite difficult.  
Dinner is uneventful. I do notice that we've been eating snail pie a lot more, however. I quite like the taste anyway, and it's infinitely better than Papyrus' spaghetti.  
From somewhere in the distance I can hear piano playing underneath idle chatter.  
Whoever is playing it must be an accomplished pianist. I don't know much about music, and I can't recognise the song.  
Is it one of our human neighbours? Nobody else seems to notice it.

The sound is louder the deeper I go. But it isn't coming from the garden or anything in the soil, so I can't look.  
I systematically search the street's gardens, and the sound is definitely louder in our yard. Upstairs is easiest to get to, because Asgore puts little pots of flowers everywhere. Frisk's room is empty. Both of the skeleton's rooms are empty (and a small tornado containing socks, papers covered in equations and a small, white, dog has formed in the corner of Sans').  
That means it must be further downstairs.  
A long stone hallway leads to the cellar. I appreciate that they were trying to keep the house similar to Home, but it holds so many more people now, and a storage room is the complete opposite of a different realm.  
Still, this bit can be navigated through cracks in walls and the slabs.  
The entrance is shut tight. Hoping there's some dry dirt in there somewhere, I dive under and surface just on the other side of the iron doors.  
A large way ahead of me is somebody sat at a black piano. It's too dark to see who it is, but I can pick out some of their movements. Their arms and hands hammer the keys.  
They're doing an impressive job, not being able to see.  
It sounds sad. Music in general seems to bring out memories of raw emotion, strong enough to feel as though they are affecting me now. I bend my head down to hide my grim expression from the shadowy person, but they don't even know I'm here.  
The song abruptly stops. They crack their fingers, just like Papyrus' bones snapping.  
The music begins again, light and airy, but something.. Something sounds remorseful.  
It washes over me. I could sit for hours here, just listening, not having to do anything.  
I'd happily die here in this place.  
A rolling thunder of chords echoes across the slick stone walls.  
It stops again. The person quickly stands and walks to the far side of the chamber.  
I don't realize what they're doing until a few orange candles are placed around the room. Light reflects from the DJ equipment and the polished wood.  
I stay completely still, but the person still notices me.  
The flickering glow on Undyne's blue scales makes her appear more dangerous than she is.  
"How long have you been there?" She tries to sound menacing but it comes out timid.  
"Just now." At least, I hope so; but time stopped while she was performing.  
She leans over me and snarls. "Tell anyone and you're compost."  
I nod.  
"Good." Her mood lightens a little and she points to the door with a thumb. "You can go now."  
I'm not leaving just yet. However, violence will not let me hear more.  
"It was good."  
She seems shocked at my sudden complement. "Shut up. Why are you trying to get on my good side?"  
"What good side," I retort. Oops.  
Undyne doesn't even seem angry.  
"True," she grins menacingly. "So don't make me angry." she calls up a spear and twirls it over her head lazily. This will be difficult to reverse. She has no intention to fight me; her gait is more relaxed and there are weaknesses in her defence. There's a huge amount of things I could say or do that I've never seen the reaction of. How did Frisk do it?  
"You should tell Alphys about your piano." I try to change the direction of the interaction.  
She shuffles her feet slightly. "I was going to, but it's a bit. Weird."  
"Why is it weird?"  
"Why the hell would I know? It just is!" Undyne rolls her muscular shoulders.  
"Isn't Alphys into weird stuff? You still like her, right?" With a start I notice that I'm speaking like Asriel.  
Her top lip curls. "She's not weird. And stop saying it, the word's all screwed up now."  
"Fine. I'm just saying that she'll probably like to see this side of you."  
Undyne blinks. "Don't be a freak." She edges towards the piano, and looks longingly at the keys. She slumps over them sighing, creating an awful echo with her flat palms.  
"How would I even tell her? I'm seriously shi- no good at this crap."  
"I can go get her."  
"And then what?!"  
"Just play, fish." I insult her gently and she nods with Determination. 

Upstairs, everyone has finished dinner. Frisk is helping wash up. Alphys is sitting at the side of a conversion between Papyrus and Mettaton, not noticing that she's third-wheeling.  
"Hey. Alphys."  
She looks over at me, on the table. "Um. Yes?"  
"Come with me," and I dodge into a pot out of the room in her field of vision. She wrings her hands, glances around, and follows. "I-is something wrong?"  
"Nope." I lead the way to the cellar and the music gets louder and louder. She still stays behind me even though it's clear where we're headed.  
We arrive at the huge iron doors. " Um. W-what's going on?"  
I point at the handle with a vine and she slowly creaks the looming door open.  
I catch Undyne's shadow jump, but she doesn't miss a note.  
It's a grim, mournful melody this time, tense and explosive. The candles are all extinguished.  
Alphys shakily crosses the boundary and watches, as I did, the mysterious figure move.  
I emerge next to her, and quietly resurface on a patch nearer the piano. Undyne's eyes are closed and her eyebrows are furrowed together. Me and the doctor both watch in awe until the powerful song is finished.  
The figure cracks her knuckles.  
I'm not sure if we should have planned something before, and I'm a little worried about what happens next. The only sound is her boots hitting cool stone as she stands up. She picks up a candle, lights it with a single strike of a match, and turns around, breaking the pitch black with a soft warm light.  
Alphys blinks and puts a clawed hand to her mouth. Undyne, for once, looks as nervous as her girlfriend. "So. Uh. Hey." She studies Alphys' face for a reaction, who finally finds her voice. "Th-that was.. ama..amazing."  
They both smile awkwardly. If either remember that I'm still here, they make no sign of it.  
"You were gonna find me out anyway, so."  
"Th-thank you, for. Um. Showing me. " Alphys fiddles with a loose thread on her sleeve, still making eye contact.  
"It's a bit odd," Undyne grins and shrugs, fully expecting the lizard to agree.  
"N-no!" Alphys suddenly exclaims, then looking down, she quietly corrects herself. "N-no. It, it was- It's p-perfect."  
Even having no concept of their emotions, I'm finding this display entertaining. Undyne physically tenses. "I was a little scared to show you." She laughs nervously.  
"W-Why?"  
"Just being stupid, I guess. You haven't ran away, and that's a good sign!" She rubs the back of her neck.  
Alphys smiles shyly and steps tentatively forward. "Will y-you. Um. P-Play s-something else?"  
Undyne's eyes flick around, searching for something. She solemnly nods, moving to the long leather stool. The candle illuminates the ivory keys from its place on top of the instrument.  
Without turning, Undyne pats the space next to her. Alphys squeaks in shock or embarrassment, then joins her.  
Both of their hands are shaking. She begins to play, then a sharp, wrong sound wakes me up. "Heh, sorry. S-stage fright."  
"It-It's okay," Alphys smiles, looking away.  
The music starts up again and Alphys watches her practised fingers glide in stunned silence, snuggled close to Undyne. My cue to leave.  
Something about helping them makes me feel satisfied.  
In the living room, Muffet appears to have joined the household. Sans is alternating between swigging ketchup and spider cider. A faint blue colour covers his nose. The late night news is on. Asgore seems more relaxed than usual, swilling the translucent brown liquid lazily in a mug. Mettaton is trying to convince Papyrus to wear the pirate flag, even though neither are drunk.  
He turns to me and poses. "I have your payment!" He winks, opening a hatch in his front and producing the things I asked for. He sets the toy flower on the table and it instantly starts dancing. I feel my lips curl into a toothy smile. Its carefree bobbing is calming.  
"And this," He raises an eyebrow and puts the bottle beside me, with the annoyingly pristine sunflower. My petals are ragged in comparison.  
"How on earth you'll use it, I have no idea."  
"You'll pour it." I watch the toy, mesmerized.  
Mettaton carefully unscrews the green lid and squints at the side. "How much?"  
"I don't care."  
He puts a capful into my soil. "What does it taste like?" I ask. He pours one into my mouth too. Bitter and fruity.  
"Now what?" The robot asks. I scowl at him. "Nothing. It's just like vitamins, idiot."  
"Okay then~!"  
Sans mumbles an incoherent jeer and waves at the screen. Asgore laughs loudly.  
"Hey Paps! C'mere a sec!"  
He refuses, but moves over when Asgore nods sagely. "WHAT IS IT?"  
Sans sniggers and pokes Asgore. He starts chuckling too. "Are you any good at dancing, Papyrus?" The king's voice is impressively deadpan, but his eyes light up.  
"I GUESS I CAN, WHY?"  
Sans tries to speak three times, each time being interrupted by his or Asgore's laughter. "Can you," he breathes, clutching his ribs, "Do the robot?!"  
They fall about laughing. It's actually pretty funny. I mask a snort.  
Papyrus is not amused. Mettaton is smirking with a gloved finger pressed against his lips.  
"SANS!"  
"Heh, don't blame me," he slurs, "Gorey said it first."  
Papyrus splutters. "Y-YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER!" His cheekbones glow orange.  
"You should know better, Papyrus. How crude." He sniggers with Sans. I hear Toriel giggle too.  
"Ignore them," Mettaton waves his hand carelessly in their direction. "Muffet spiked her cider with human alcohol."  
Said spider wanders back in from the kitchen where she was helping Toriel with four hands on her hips.  
"Ahuhuhu~ You weren't supposed to tell, dearie." The spider knocks the king and the skeleton's heads together playfully as she passes. "I thought we had a deal, since we couldn't get any spiders."  
The robot makes a noise of agreement. "That was only Asgore," He counters, but I'm not convinced he's really trying to uphold justice.  
"It's not my fault if the skeleton falls for it too, is it?" She leans forward and laughs.  
Something about her actions seem like she knew Sans'd get drunk too, but I stay quiet. My head is already buzzing a little from the excitement.  
"WAIT, WAIT! MUFFET'S PRICE WAS SEEING KING ASGORE DRUNK?"  
"Yes, dearie~ Don't you wonder what he'll do?" She holds up a jug and a glass bottle of clear liquid. "I'm going to find out once and for all! Ahuhuhu~" She taps it with a nail and skips daintily away.  
Even by my standards, that's a bizarre thing to want to know. Mettaton and Papyrus both agree with me.  
"It can't be helped, Flowey-darling. She's a tricky little madam~."  
A stream of bad, unfinished puns flows from Sans' mouth, and most of them vulgar.  
"Whazza donkey.." He takes a swig. "An ass!" Asgore finds it hilarious, apparently.  
"I don't get it," I speak out loud.  
"I'm not surprised!" He roars with laughter and Sans pretty much dies.  
"Dreemurr! Stop that! You're a king, so act like one!" Toriel storms in, with a face like thunder. The room falls silent. She points a whisk at Asgore's nose. Some batter drips off the end. "Well?"  
He sits up, bowing his head. "Yes, you're, you're." He seems to forget what he was going to say.  
The queen sighs, but is clearly amused.  
"Ahem, you're right," Asgore finishes.  
"Yes, I am." She returns to the pastries.  
Sans' and Asgore both look at each other in a comical way, and all three of us start giggling like idiots. Fortunately, they don't catch me.  
"Snoriel!"  
Papyrus shakes his head. Just like him to disapprove. Asgore pounds his fist on the arm of the couch.  
Although Sans used to and still gets drunk most nights, I haven't seen him this happy in years. Come to think of it, Asgore's not been this upbeat since we died.  
Maybe Muffet's meddling was all good in the end.  
The tv station finishes. Papyrus goes to bed, and Mettaton returns to Alphys' room to recharge. I don't recall Toriel or the spider leaving, but they aren't here now. Somewhere along the line the distant piano music faded into a blend of lights and sounds. The pair are slumped on each other for support, passing the last dregs of Spider Cider between them.  
"What do you call a Snowdrake.. with no eyes or.. kidneys or.. liver?" I can barely make out what he's saying.  
"Uhh, I don't know. What do you call a 'drake with.." He yawns, "..out that?"  
"Dead."  
Asgore laughs without opening his mouth, resulting in a deep hum.  
"Heh."  
They fall into silence again. Just as I almost nod off, The king speaks again.  
I force myself to wake up. I'm not missing this strange event for anything.  
"Y'know what?" Dad's words jumble together.  
"What do I know?"  
"I'm really really really glad we got up here again."  
"Mm."  
Silence.  
"I wish."  
"'Pon a star?"  
"The same one every night."  
These are lyrics to an old folk song the first monsters trapped used to sing. I can't remember most of the words, but I can just about recall the tune.  
I wished, I wished, upon a star, the same one every night.  
To see again the moon, the stars, and their winking light..  
Toriel sang it as a lullaby. "Whaddya wish for?"  
"I wanted m-" He hiccups again. "My children to see clouds."  
Sans looks over and cracks an eye. "You drunk?"  
"So're you."  
"Welp."  
"Huhuh."  
I'm confused. Neither of them can form or continue a single idea, and I'm close to falling asleep.  
"You didn't tell me 'bout the human," Sans begins, cracking his neck into place.  
"Didn't I?"  
"Noope."  
Even with lowered inhibitions, Asgore looks like he's having a hard time thinking about it. At least he won't remember this after sleep.  
"She was just like humans. Rowdy. Determined...she was nice deep down."  
"Oh yeah?"  
That's not at all how Chara described herself.  
He scratches his beard lazily.  
"Humans."  
"Huh. Humans."  
They both fall asleep pretty much simultaneously after the exchange. Asgore snores just as loud as I expected.  
I'll never know why my sister joined our family.  
I quietly surface upstairs.  
Frisk's gentle breathing gives me an idea.  
I have Chara's broken soul. If I could somehow use it to..  
No. I shouldn't. It's invading her mind.  
What if something went wrong? I shouldn't take that risk.  
But..


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so.. yeah.  
> more stuff.  
> lots of non-canon stuff.  
> ;;

_It's sunny today. I want to go outside but my father won't let me. I was mean to somebody._

_Apples are my favourite fruit._

_His hands wrap around my neck and squeeze the air out. I'm scared._   
_"Shut up girl."_

_When I went out to play, Sammy found a newt! I don't think it will eat the leaves he left it._

_I'm trying hard not to make a noise. He said if anyone wakes up then he will kill me._   
_I believe he could._

_The flowers are soft to lay on and they smell good. When I am scared I like to come here and close my eyes._   
_I have been visiting the flowers more often._

_It hurts. Everything hurts. He said that it was my fault, for being a bad daughter._   
_Am I this bad?_

_If I think about the flowers with all of my mind, their smell on the wind, I can almost block it out._   
_Not all of it though. Not the way he looks at me._

_Not the ferocious snarl or the look of disjointed content._   
_Flowers. Golden, sweet, small, soft, green, pollen.._

_I can't do this any more. I'm sorry._   
_I am running away._   
_The mountains seem good._   
_Maybe I will disappear forever._

_It is cold and misty up here. I can't really see. I will sleep out here tonight._   
_I am safer in the wild, but I miss home a tiny bit._

_I woke myself up. I wet myself._   
_Must have been the cold, but now I need a change of clothes._   
_It's uncomfortable but I am not going back._

_I have found a bush with berries on. They are not quite ripe. I should have packed food and a blanket._

_The village is a tiny yellow speck from up here._   
_I hope they do not come searching._   
_Nobody will miss me._

_Where am I? I was falling and falling and then there were rocks and I'm scared is this the Underground they're going to steal my soul-_

I jolt back to the present, shouting. Frisk jumps too. Tears are streaming down my face and my heart is pounding.  
"Flowey."  
"Y-yeah. S-sorry kid. Go back t-to sleep."  
with a sleepy groan they turn over and fall silent.  
Was that..  
No. I was just imaging it. Sleep does that, doesn't it?  
It felt very real, like mine or Asriel's thoughts. Every lash, every tremble, every bit of Determination that was lost..  
I feel myself holding back an attack.  
She felt so helpless. So used, and alone and cold and afraid and she never even shed a tear.  
It's not fair. It's not fair.  
I never knew, and I couldn't have done anything. Didn't she trust me? We're family. We were family!  
Screw humans. If they'll do that..to their own kind..  
I don't want anything to do with them.

I shuffle downstairs and Sans is slumped over the counter with his head in his hands. A mug of water is next to him, and he doesn't see me come in.  
"Hey, bonehead."  
"Huh?" He slowly turns, wincing. "Oh. S'you."  
"What's wrong with you?"  
"Uhuh. Hangover." He winks. "What's up with you? You're shaking like a leaf."  
He laughs at his pun and rubs his forehead.  
"You're good at tricky decisions, right?"  
"You're better off asking Paps. Hit me anyway." His shoulder blades tense at the though.  
"If.. you'd found out something that made you want to leave, but would have to leave alone, would you?"  
"Uhuh. I, uh. Don't know what your getting at. But," He pulls up a chair and sits heavily.  
"If it weren't for Paps bein' here I'd still be in Snowdin."  
"Why?"  
"He's family. We need each other. Before you bugger off, think about anyone who might need you around."  
He shrugs. Was I that obvious? Oh well, It still helps.  
Who needs me around? Literally nobody here. They all act like a crazy reformed family, and although Frisk's parents must still be here they chose to stay. It made Toriel unbelievably happy.  
So everyone is sorted.  
I peer into all the rooms before I gather my things. I guess I'm looking for a reason that somebody might need me.  
Asgore and Toriel sleep in different beds now, but both are fast asleep. They should be- it's dark outside. Alphys' room only has Mettaton with his heart flashing pink.  
Papyrus is still sleeping soundly on his racecar bed, which is fairly sweet until you remember that it is a real car they found in the Dump and cleaned.  
I slip into the cellar and Undyne and Alphys have fallen asleep over the closed piano. Her tail twitches in her sleep. I wonder what she's dreaming about. They must really love each other, seeing as Alphys was prepared to kill herself after the fish's death.  
I'm envious that I don't have a clue what it's like, and I return to Frisk's room.  
They're still sleeping. They've never once woken up from a nightmare, but that could just be because they choose not to.  
I have a little magic left, and I pour it into a glowing gold light in the corner of the room. It bobs and the magic inside churns and glitters but it keeps its spherical shape.  
A ball of raw energy.  
Now I don't have the choice to kill.  
I try to create a bullet, resulting in an unsettling nothing.  
Right. I guess I'll get anything that belongs to me.  
The plastic flower will have to stay, unfortunately. I can take the fertilizer, since it'll fit inbetween my roots.  
Chara's old picture, wrapped in a sandwich bag, is coming too.  
That's it.  
I take one last look at Frisk's peaceful face and my stomach twists with worry.  
"Be safe." I whisper to a chilling silence.  
I dive under the soil.  
Back to the Underground.

It's creepy down here with silence. In Snowdin, Papyrus' puzzles remain untouched, and a thin frost covers them and doors to houses.  
The river person is gone. The ice wolf is gone. I guess that means the core is switched off too, with nothing to cool it down.  
I forget for a moment why I'm down here, my thoughts being muffled by nostalgia.  
I'm here to avoid the creatures that hurt Asriel's sister. There's not much they can do to a flower, but it doesn't matter. It's the meaning behind my actions that means the most.  
For once, I'm not being selfish.  
The ground is hard with permafrost in the conifer forests, so I move to waterfall.  
I'm tired and cold and the travelling is slow going.  
Undyne's old home is no longer on fire, but the inside is charred beyond recognition.  
I sit and rest. Babbling water runs through the rocks and I wonder where the source is.  
Despite being a comfortable temperature, I shiver. How many screams have I heard echo around these rocky walls?  
I find a crevice in a wall, drink some fertilizer and let the fuzzy warmth lull me into a hazy sleep. I don't care for light right now.

_Silence. I look around and see dark caverns._   
_I hear a broken cry._   
_It's mine._

_"You've fallen down, haven't you..."_   
_There's a goat. Or a cow. But definitely a monster._   
_He doesn't look mean. He's little, and maybe a year and a bit younger than me._

_"Are you hurt?"_   
_He peers over at me. I lift my head higher and wipe my face. He offers a furry hand._   
_"Do you have a name?"_   
_"That's a nice name."_

_He's taking me to a big house, he says. There aren't as many monsters as I thought would be down here._

_We walk through lots of crumbled buildings, and now there's snow._   
_It's sparkly._

_When people see me they sometimes stare. Mostly they hide, like I do from people._   
_I think they can tell._

_"You aren't very talkative, are you?"_   
_The goat keeps chatting nervously, but I don't know how I should answer._   
_I don't want it to get angry._

_A huge beast with horns is looking over me, like a devil. I can't run. My feet are fixed to the spot. This is surely where I die._

_It extends a furry hand._   
_"What brings you down here, little one?"_   
_I couldn't tell him if I wanted to._

_They are apparently the rulers of this place._   
_They've been kind this whole time._   
_I worry about when they get bored of it._

I wake bleary eyed and, for a change, in silence. A small spider has made a home around me that I loathe to destroy. For the past few nights, I've slept here, and I have to ruin the spider's work.  
I had another strange dream, but it wasn't even unsettling: I've gotten used to strange things and thoughts now.  
I unfurl my petals and groan. My stem aches, but I'd rather be tucked away safe than out in the open.  
I think I'll visit New Home.  
What is Toriel doing right now?  
I'm certain that they'll have noticed I'm gone by now.  
Whatever. I don't care about them anyway. Do I?  
I can't care. Can I?  
"Shut up," I hiss at nothing, and work my way around past the deserted Tem Village to the path that leads to Hotland.  
The sign is dead. I realise the source of my unease; this empty underground is painfully similar to when me and Chara killed everything.  
Fortunately, there's no dust stuck between the cracks in the stone.  
Here, the dirt is hot, dry clay. The water from the cooler does little to ease my discomfort. I'm desperately thirsty, so return, annoyed, to waterfall.  
I always screw things up.  
"Damn it," I sigh, and retreat to the ghost's house. At least the tv is running from an emergency generator in the corner.  
News. Bad signal. I hit the antenna with a vine and the picture clears slightly. The sound is still crackly.  
A colourful human cartoon is on. A girl with green hair in pigtails is singing into a hairbrush. What an idiot.  
A different girl, with large eyes and short purple hair bursts in shouting.  
"What are you doing?! It's midnight!"  
"Oh! I was practising for the talent contest!"  
Cat ears sprout from her head and she blushes.  
What the hell is this drivel?  
Something about the people in it is unsettling.  
I stretch and move a little closer.  
I must have missed something, because now a group of students- the two from before and one with long, flowing red hair- are backstage somewhere. Why I'm watching this, I don't know. Their mouths don't even sync up properly to the words.  
A huge crash sounds from outside.  
It turns out that a giant boulder had smashed into the cave wall near an overgrown race track.  
I get my breath back from the shock, hiding underground, and return indoors.  
The red head has just gotten caught by the other two girls kissing a blue eyed boy. Why were they even there in the first place?! There are much more appropriate places to do that. Or better yet, not at all.  
"Oh my god!" Green girl grows a cat tail and meows.  
"I knew you had a thing for Akira!" The purple one laughs, strikingly similar to someone.  
"Don't be stupid! I don't love him!" She throws a chair randomly in the boy's direction as if to prove herself. "I'm just making sure we win!"


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another short one, 'cause the next is a long one.  
> sorry for the mess up to this point, ive worked it out now.

Wait.  
That's my voice.  
Is this the anime we spoke over? I sound stupid.  
I keep listening. After that breakthrough, it's easy to tell who voiced who. Undyne is the Green one, Muffet purple. Sans is the boy with the blue eyes and blonde hair who was just kissed.  
I'm not sure what's going on, but it looks like him, another boy and a girl are in a rival band with romantic tension between them.  
The tallest boy has orange hair and blue eyes, and sounds like Papyrus. I think they're brothers too.  
The other girl is, hilariously, Asgore. I'm not convinced that a tiny school girl with pigtails is the best match, but she seems a little shy too.  
Toriel is the Queen of the creepy cat girls.

All in all, I guess we did a fairly decent job.  
Is Alphys watching this now?  
A feeling of swirling homesickness hits me, and I've not even been gone long. The sensation is just like how Chara felt up the mountain. And like her, nobody will miss me.  
But..  
But..  
I don't want to be alone. And even if it's selfish to go back up there after everything I've done.. We were released for a reason.  
Just because it wasn't Asriel or Chara who set us free, that human child did.  
The one who, no matter what, has faith in me.  
If that makes them bad, then what am I?

No.

I take a little of the bitter liquid and sleep. These thoughts will ruin everything.

_The little goat's eyes are bright._   
_"Have you introduced yourself, son? I'm sure they're afraid too."_

_He hides behind his father and smiles_   
_"Pleased to meet you."_   
_They have a striking resemblance._   
_"My name is Asriel."_

_The goat people seem nice enough._   
_They're probably just luring me in._   
_For now, I'll go along with their plan._

_Another one joins them and I really am considering running._   
_She isn't as tall, but looks concerned too._   
_When will they stop fooling around and kill me?_

_"Do you have a name, my child?"_   
_I still haven't said anything to him._   
_They might get annoyed if I don't._   
_"That's a nice name." He sounds just like his son._

_"Are you planning on getting back home?"_   
_The king has a low gravelly voice. He seems worried._   
_"Why?"_

_I already knew, but he told me their whole sorry story._   
_That's fine, because I don't want to leave anyway._

_"Very well. You are most welcome to stay with us as long as you wish." He smiles warmly, even with sharp teeth._   
_I've never seen a smile like his._

My head hurts. Everything aches. I open my eyes and hiss. Too bright.  
"Gahh."  
I squint out at the world and it pitches. If I had feet I would have surely fallen down.  
I'm still in Napstablook's house. The carpet is spread over the dirt, so I can move freely here.  
Bored and craving sunlight, I wander around Waterfall. I seem to gravitate to glowing mushrooms, but it doesn't help ease my lethargy.  
Being alone is dreadfully tedious. The temptation to just go back up is something I'll have to resist.  
Worse, I'm almost out of fertilizer. How am I going to numb my thoughts now?  
My own mind scares me.  
After I had finished all the nice things possible as a flower, it wasn't as interesting a second time. Or a twenty seventh.  
"Wow, you're a very good guard!"  
"You'd make a wonderful chef!"  
"Don't your claws look lovely today?"  
"Your fur is so very shiny today!"

Golly, aren't you the most dreadfully tedious people in the whole Underground?!

Strange, twisted ideas would bubble up at inopportune moments.  
I didn't want to hurt anyone.  
Fearing what I might have done, I went into hiding.  
It was unbearable. It was lonely, it was.. I resorted to harming myself, desperately trying to find something new. Even my own pain became dull. I was numb. Not even seeing my teeth or petals unattached from my body affected me in those endlessly grim times.  
I gave in.  
All I had to do to stop feeling so empty was new things.  
It was fun to do unique combinations of violence and kindness. Especially to the softest monster in the Underground, Papyrus. His generosity, his unrelenting optimism and his dangerous brother all made for an interesting combination of force and strategy.  
But that's all over, and the urges are rattling in my skull.  
Alone. Cold. There are no games to play here, and no rules.  
"Hello!" My voice makes me flinch.  
A distant, faint giggling echoes from somewhere. I duck down. I just have to wait for them to go. You won't hurt them.  
Don't move. Don't move. Your soul is heavy and blue. Don't move.  
Eventually I hear footsteps recede and surface.  
That was close. It's not like I could have really hurt them without my excess magic, but I'm still physically strong.  
I'm too worn out for this. I feel lethargic and black most of the time now. At least on the surface it wasn't so grey all the time.  
I'm not even sad, not really. I'm not sure why I feel this way, but it's probably to do with the things I've done. If it is, then I deserve it.  
No better than the humans.  
Isn't that what Undyne said before I reset?  
She's said that same thing five times now.  
It all feels distant, like it could be a dream.  
To be honest, it all feels like a muted, sticky, not-going-anywhere dream. That's my life. Wading through melted sugar and butter thoughts.  
I sigh.  
Maybe this was why they were cheering Alphys up, if it was real. I sincerely hope she doesn't feel like this.  
But I don't care. They're all traitors for siding with the humans.  
I look up at the far away crystals on the ceiling: the pretend stars that hold thousands and thousands of wishes.  
I should know, I've seen it happen. Asriel gave his fair share too. It's a novelty now but before there were lights these used to be important.  
Echo flowers dotted around are eerily still. I flick each one in turn and they all repeat dripping and indistinct chatter. All apart from one which says, "See you, stars! I'll come back!"  
Is that the Monster Kid's voice? I listen again. Yep. His voice is distorted through the flower, and I listen again to check.  
Didn't he systematically crush on every monster in Snowdin before settling on Undyne?  
Whatever.  
Before I leave, I cautiously whisper my own secret.  
Back at the place where Gerson's shop used to be, I notice that I've been absent mindedly whistling. "Stop that," I grumble, hiding away in Napstablook's house. If anybody was here, then it's certain they heard me.  
Maybe I imagined that laugh earlier.  
But if I'm imaging things who's to tell me if it's right?  
Me?  
I wouldn't even know what right and wrong means. Who decided that some things, like presents, were good and stealing was bad?  
And what if you put a bomb in a present? Is that bad? What if the recipient wanted to be blown to smithereens? What if the person who decided right and wrong was bad? Would that make the not-exploding presents bad too?  
Forget it. I'm too tired to even want to think. I'll just lay here and do nothing. Forever.

_The goat lady is called Toriel, and has a habit of claiming me as her own. Her husband is called Asgore._   
_It's a scary name._

_She cleaned up my scrapes and put my wrist in a splint._   
_I didn't realize I was hurting._

_It's dark, and I'm sharing a room with their son. I can't sleep._   
_"Hey," He whispers._

_"What's the surface like?"_   
_It's hard to get my head around that he's never seen it before, but I don't want to talk._

_"Are you asleep?"_   
_"Yes."_   
_He whisper-laughs. "Good night."_   
_I hear him roll over on his mattress and the springs groan._

_I have no appetite for food or conversation._   
_They won't leave me alone, but it's not surprising. They're sizing me up._

_I feel myself drifting off in an armchair. I guess it won't hurt to let my guard down now._   
_I'd rather die in my sleep anyway._


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the slightly longer wait.  
> ive been busy-ish and not at all procrastinating.

I don't remember falling asleep or waking up, but my head is touching the ground. I can't find the energy to move.  
I take out Chara's picture and study it for any secrets. I guess I'll find any out in my dreams. I wish I could make them stop.  
Is this one last punishment?  
I wonder if she knew I'd end up here as a miserable little wreck.  
I hear voices.  
Lots of voices.  
Chattering.  
I hope that these aren't real, but they seem authentic. I don't know which would be worse.  
A human man and woman are leading a small crowd (families and couples and people on their own) around waterfall.  
I peer out of the window as the people arrive at my new house.  
"These belong to Mettaton and DJ Spooky!" Some people look shocked. They turn and walk away. Their description of the old Waterfall, with the glowing crystals and the puzzles that are now completed hopefully illuminates the ignorant fools.

As those footprints fade away, another, smaller group meets around the glowing blue lake just outside of this area.  
A loud booming voice speaks with feeling and cherished memories. "This is Waterfall. It was always a quiet place. People came here to wish and reflect on the stars above."  
It's King Asgore's tone.  
The people in this group say very little, wrapped up in stunned silence, engrossed in the atmosphere..  
I might follow from a safe distance.  
He takes the group through the area with the echo flowers where I just was. They must have come here first, across that little gap where the duck used to sit, and are now walking back around.  
"Many here had never seen the surface. They were born, and died, without ever seeing the beautiful sunlight you take for granted."  
Somebody wipes their eyes.  
From my space tucked away nobody could see me, but I still feel exposed.  
"The humans were scared of our ability to absorb their souls years ago, and sentenced generations to never have their wishes come true."  
He smiles sadly. "But we're free now."  
A little boy raises his hand. "Can I make a wish?" He speaks quietly and politely. His large brown eyes peer through waves of blonde hair.  
Asgore nods. "Of course you may."  
He steps forward and looks up, enthralled by the tiny winking lights. He closes his eyes and smiles.  
Finished, he looks back at the king and to his mother, returning to the group.  
His sleeve rubs against an echo flower.  
The child jumps back in shock, and I hope nobody can see me.  
No. No, it's okay. I'm behind them.  
Asgore's eyes widen and the corners of his mouth twitch. "T-those are echo flowers. They repeat the last thing they heard."  
He taps the one next to him gently and it repeats his words. Somebody claps.  
"Are you okay, Your Majesty?" An older woman speaks up.  
"Oh, yes. Yes, I'm fine, thank you. Please call me Asgore."  
They proceed to the next area, and the king glances around before moving on.  
He offers some umbrellas, and for a while the people just stand, looking out over the buildings in the distance while the cool rain hammers on their heads. I like this place more than I remember.  
Asgore tenderly brushes off the dust from a statue. Saying nothing, he places the handle in it. Asriel's music box echoes through the next rooms. It creates a soothing ambience.  
I hang back then appear just at the Hotland sign. It's moving again.  
"Now, just as Snowdin was very cold, Hotland is very hot. I would advise you remove your coats now." The tour group complies. "Well, then, on we go!"  
They cross the bridge, past the water cooler. A girl tries to take some but it evaporates.  
It's difficult to stand the temperature here but I grit my teeth and bare it.  
"Hotland was a place of heat and innovation." He points to Alphys' lab. "Our top scientists worked here, but I'm afraid this lab is still not safe enough to visit yet." I wonder why. Maybe the lizard was afraid that somebody would stumble upon the Real Lab.  
"But everywhere else here we can visit."  
He takes them into an elevator and they disappear.  
There's no way of knowing where they went, and lots of places here are mechanical, so I can't check everywhere.  
MTT's old sets have a distinctly eerie feeling with nobody on them. The musical props are faded.  
I catch up from the other side of the group in a wide purple room. Before I pop up closer, I hear a cheeky giggle.  
"Muffet? What are you doing here?" Asgore doesn't seem terribly pleased.  
I see the corners are cloaked in sticky cobwebs.  
"I'm sorry, deary~. I thought your visitors might like some pastries." She spreads her hands out over the table.  
Some of the humans look uncomfortable around her.  
"Spider dounut, anybody?"  
"Muffet, I'm afraid this can't be allowed to continue. "  
"They've been walking for ages, dearie. I won't charge them! Ahuhuhu~"  
Asgore sighs and relents. "Okay." Turning to the group he smiles. "If anybody would like one, please line up."  
I'm hidden behind a table. Most of them take one. Most of them slow down after the spider tells them what they're made of.  
Humans are so fussy! They wouldn't last a month down here. They might break a nail.  
"Since you're here, could you perhaps tell the humans what it's like underground?"  
"I'd love to, dearie." She folds a set of arms. "But I'll bet the king has already told you everything though." She cups her hand to one side of her mouth and whispers to the tourists, "He likes to talk too much~."  
A few children laugh and she beams. "Come again! I'll be on the surface! Uee hee hee~!"  
They move on again, thanking and waving Muffet goodbye. Does she come here often?  
Such a question isn't worth my time.  
I'm getting tired and bored of this now.  
I dodge the rest of the floors and appear in the throne room.  
Quiet chirping and a faint breeze makes the flowers around the thrones (he's put both out again) swish.  
I'm tired of hiding. Here I can just sit and blend in.  
I'm sleepy, but I guess he'll be showing them the throne room too. I'll stay awake for now.  
Sure enough, The people make it here. Asgore puts a firm hand against the door to stop them from getting in. He swallows.  
"Please be careful not to step on the flowers." They nod.  
"This room is near the end of our journey. But there's something different here."  
He removes his forearm so the little children can see. "This is the only place in the Underground where there is still dust."  
An old woman steps back, afraid.  
Asgore turns around, showing them his back.  
His eyes scan the sea of yellow petals. He bows his head. "This garden is where my son died."  
I didn't know that. I shuffle. How ironic is it, that Asriel would find his remains here, over flowers.  
He nods grievously. "Anyway, we'll move on."  
I watch legs pass by. The boy from earlier speaks again. "Sir. King."  
Asgore twists his head. "Oh. Yes?"  
The boy tips his head back to meet his shadowed eyes. "May I have a flower?"  
The king's heart skips a beat.  
He's clearly grappling the problem in his head. Asgore's never been the type to say no to anybody. He shakes his head slightly.  
"I'm sorry. I would like them to remain down here."  
The boy casts his eye across the flowers again longingly. "Weren't these from the surface in the first place? They won't be happy down here."  
A woman steps forward, clad in yellow- the colour of the surface- and scolds the child. "I'm sorry, he isn't usually like this-"  
"There's so many, too! There'll be more room for them up there. Flowers need sunlight to be happy."  
Do they?  
Asgore's face looks even more torn. His nose twitches. The woman tries to shush the child again.  
"Matthew, stop this at once! The king has said no."  
"Just one! They're so pretty!"  
A shy girl with mousey brown hair joins in. "Yeah. Can we take one too?" Her dad gives an apologetic look at the king, but it seems like he's too troubled to notice. The boy grins and stomps into the field. Asgore, deep in thought and misery, has no words. I guess if the boy tries to pull one I'll-  
"Get out of here!"  
I rise up out of the patch, twisting my face into a bloody mockery of his, and hissing. I know that it's not a very good line, but it seems to do the trick.  
Everybody moves as far as possible from me, pushing up against the walls as the boy begins to wail. How pathetic.  
His mother turns, furious, to Asgore's shocked face. "What is this?! You've made my son upset!"  
"Oh. I. I'm awfully sorry, I didn't, I was-"  
"You made the ruler of monsterkind upset." I growl and she drops her argument. Asgore quickly lets them out of the room and finishes the tour.  
I get a feeling that he'll be back.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short chapter this time.  
> im attempting to not split up important parts.. so.. uhh..  
> thanks for reading this far.  
> i would appreciate it if you commented anything. suggestions, maybe. verbal abuse. i dont mind.

Should I have helped him? For a moment I almost would have protected my father.  
To be honest i just didn't like the look of that kid. What an annoying little runt.  
Still, it's been a while since I've had the chance to be here. I might as well make the most of it. That was extremely refreshing.  
Now they're gone, and I'm alone again.  
The excitement has worn off.  
Soothing chirping bounces from the walls. I was so close to feeling something then, something like before. I guess it's gone.  
I don't hear somebody enter until I fall asleep, and even then I can't help but feel it is just in my head. Is this whole sorry mess imaginary?  
Asgore shuffles in and sits down heavily on a throne, sighing. How much time has passed since I helped him out?  
I sit, camouflaged, listening to his rhythmic breathing.  
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale.  
I open my eyes slightly and peek at him. His own eyes are shut and a mighty paw is draped across them. It doesn’t hide the signs of sleeplessness. He groans.  
"I know you're here, Asriel." A wad of muscles on his shoulders tighten at the mention of my first name. He sighs.  
I tense.  
"I just need to know where."  
I don't think he knows I'm in the room. Dad used to talk to himself quite a lot.  
"Was it just a joke? I couldn't be sure of the voice."  
He leans back and licks his lips. "Flowey, if you're still here, please make a noise."  
Should I?  
It's not going to make him carry on his monologue if I stay silent, I can tell. I whistle a shrill note.  
He opens one eye, fixed on the floor. "Why would you do a thing like this?"  
No, not now. I'm not telling you. Just like the first human didn't..  
"We've been worried. We thought you might have let go of.." His voice trails away. "But you're here, and I'm happy to hear from you again. "  
Asgore adjusts his cloak. "Underground, you won't be able to tell the days passing." He pauses. "You've been gone a month."  
No I haven't! There's no way- I couldn't sleep that much. But it's all a blur. Hours of being awake all blend together until it's impossible to distinguish clear days or thoughts from dreams. He has to be lying. I hope he's lying.  
"Why did you leave? Was it something I said? I'll do anything to fix what's wrong. That's my job."  
"Why?"  
He sits up, trying to locate where I am. "Why are you being..so nice to me?" A distant memory of a touch and a colour push against my head, lingering just outside of my mental grasp. I just can't understand it at all.  
Why people act kind to others.  
"Flowey, has something happened?"  
Yes.  
"Don't be stupid."  
I should pay attention to my own advice.  
He pauses, looking at the windows. "Thank you for helping with the humans yesterday."  
Yesterday?  
"The flowers mean the world to me."  
Obviously.  
"Frisk has been terribly quiet without you."  
"They don't talk." Except to me.  
"Yes, that's true." He gives a dry laugh. "They've hidden away in their room. The child won't even go to school."  
"The children are nasty to Frisk."  
He finally locks eyes with me. "They never even told me."  
I definitely recall Frisk complaining about people being mean and jealous. They begged me to go and protect them, but I refused. That is a bad thing to do, isn't it?

I knock on the door. Nobody came to answer.  
"Hey. Mom did baking."  
Silence. It's been a few days and she hasn't left here, barely touching the food we leave.  
I don't want to barge in. I don't know if she's even in there..  
My sister is sat facing away from me, with her head pressed against the wall. The wick on the candle in the corner is almost out. Scraps of light illuminate her auburn hair.  
"Hey, Sis."  
I notice she's shaking. If she knows I'm here, she's not showing it.  
I grab a blanket, bundled on the floor, and wrap it carefully over her shoulders. A tiny, tiny whimper sounds in her throat.  
"Hey. Are you okay?"  
She doesn't move.  
I sit beside her and look at the plain white wall. "This, uh, wall, isn't very interesting."  
So joking isn't going to help. Well, it wasn't very funny.  
I guess she can't see it from her position, just the quilt.  
Suddenly, my sister topples over onto me, and pulls me into a strong hug. I've never been hugged by her before. It threatens to crush me, and tugs my fur.  
I pat her back like mom does to me, rubbing small circles. "What happened?" Her body tenses. As if she's ready to run or fight at a moment's notice.  
"Are you..Asriel?"  
"Of course, silly."  
My sister takes light and shallow breaths. "D-don't ever go aw-away."  
"I won't."  
Her hands grip my shoulders. I can't see her face, buried into my neck, but I'm not sure I want to. "P-promise."  
"I promise." I want to ask what's brought this on, but now isn't a good time. She might get more upset.  
She pulls back and looks away. I guess she's embarrassed. I can't find anything soothing to say, so I don't. We sit, back to back, until finally the mattress moves. She turns, hiding something with a brave smile.  
"W-What were you saying about baking?"

"-so if you don't want to talk, then I'll understand."  
Huh? I wasn't listening.. I ended up thinking just now..  
Asgore is sat leaned over with his head bent.  
"Are you still there? I'll talk anyway, if that is alright with you."  
He shuffles in his seat.  
"I won't mince words. If you know where my boy is now, please tell me, Flowey. I heard an echo, you see. It might just be wishful thinking or a puzzle. I just want to see him again." He draws a hand across his eyes. "You probably don't know about it. Sorry for the trouble." He rises and slowly paces to the door.  
"N-no."  
He stops, and huffs.  
"I know what happened to your son." I'm not going to let him leave without hope. I've seen what people without it do. Alphys and Chara. It's not going to be Asgore as well.  
His eyes glint with tears and he quickly picks me out once I stand a little taller.  
"Truly?" My dad's voice quivers slightly, as if he doesn't want to pin his hopes on a lie, as if he doesn't trust me.  
"Yes."  
The king bends over to look at me.  
I begin my tale.  
"Your son absorbed your human daughter's soul, didn't he?"  
He nods gravely.  
"That's how he died too, isn't it? On the surface the humans murdered him." I try to mask my bitterness. I don't succeed.  
"Yes."  
"I'm not sure how, but the royal scientist got hold of it, didn't they?"  
"I..they were trying to break the boundary with just the six human souls and monster souls."  
"They didn't succeed."  
"..No."  
"That royal scientist did a lot of strange experiments, I think." Trying to act ignorant is surprisingly difficult.  
The king sighs. "That's true."  
"Do you know what they did with Asriel's boss soul?"  
His ears flop as he shakes his head.  
"That royal scientist, as far as I know, found that soul in a soulless vessel. They pumped it with Liquid Determination and now.. now the creature made with Asriel's soul is roaming the Underground."  
He says nothing. He stands up shakily and looks about him, then back to me. "Will you take me to him..?"


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my, sorry for the late update.  
> seriously what does kudos even mean? it looks odd.
> 
> i ~tried~ to keep chapters okay in length... but failed. they're all getting shorter . heheh

I should have thought this through. What an oversight. Time for some strategic lying..  
"I don't know where Asriel is anymore. The last time I spoke to the creature it was very different to your son." I guess this is true too.  
Asgore, perhaps finally comprehending the situation, stares clearly, afraid, at me.  
"A-a flower."  
It seems as if he might faint.  
"The, the.. the flower. That grew.. here."  
Witnessing a royal stuttering is oddly, very entertaining.  
"What about it?"  
His eyes pierce me. Steadying himself, he takes a shaking deep breath.  
"You're Asriel, are you not?"

"I'm Flowey, Flowey the flower."  
"How did you know so much?" He seems defensive. I won't give up this game just yet.  
"He told me himself." I wink.  
"Take me to where you saw him last."  
"Okay." I slip underground and he nervously waits for me to reappear. I spring right up, sticking my tongue out. He stumbles back a pace.  
"Here."  
"I'll ask you again, child, do you have my son's, Asriel's, soul?" He sounds like he'll get furious soon, and I don't want to be on the receiving end of his power without my magic. There's a reason that Dreemurr are rulers.  
I can't dance around this any longer.  
I murmur the answer.  
Asgore drops do his knees. His jaw works up and down, yet no words will form. His strong fists clench and unclench. I'm genuinely not sure how he feels about this information, and I'm ready to run.  
"Don't get angry."  
He looks at me, the corners of his mouth indecisive. "I-I'm not a-angry." Speaking clumsily, the king adds, "I'm so s-sorry, my child."  
"For what?"  
"I should have protected you."  
"You'd be dead if you did." His boss energy would have been passed on to Asriel.  
"I've been around t-too long."  
"Frisk needs you. Protect them."  
He nods heavily. "I will. I will. And you, Asriel."  
I don't want to say this, but the truth has to be set.  
"I'm not Asriel. I'm Flowey. I don't need you." Apart from when I have Asriel's memories.  
"How? Why?"  
"I have not felt a single thing since having this form. Asriel is not like that. I have his memories, and in that way I am him. But this.." It's hard to find a way of describing it perfectly. "But this is a different creature. I'm Flowey."  
He sits with his eyes shut tight. "Not even love?"  
"I'm sorry." Am I, or am I just saying it? Hard to tell.  
"My son doesn't love me."  
"Asriel would love you very much, Asgore."  
He smiles a lonely smile.  
"I love both of you."  
"Are you an idiot?"  
Asgore looks hurt, but I have to get the message across that I'm not Asriel. This interaction is delicious and new, so I might push it a little more.  
"You don't understand it anymore, do you, son?"  
"N-no." Without thinking, I add, "I wish I could."  
His nose wrinkles in thought, and he hums. "Flowey, if you don't feel, why are you telling me this?"  
"It's just-" I catch myself.  
It's just a game.  
If I say that, I'll have to explain all the stuff I've done and, inevitably, Chara.  
Is it just a game?  
I'm not murdering anymore, mostly. Is that because their reactions are boring, or because maybe..  
Maybe I do feel something? I feel my throat tighten. I'm afraid of that outcome. At least in this shell I won't hurt like their souls.  
"Please, come back up. We all miss you."  
"Don't lie to me. I'm not as stupid as you."  
"Well," He sits up straight and clasps his staff with both hands. "I'm not leaving without you."  
"Enjoy your slow and painful death."  
I swallow. I am not giving this up. I will have Determination. I do not need them. I've been alone long enough without them playing happy families with me.  
I repeat these thoughts encompassed in a single maxim.  
Have Determination.  
Have Determination.  
Have determ...

_The king made an announcement._   
_All the monsters celebrated._   
_They want me around. I can't help but feel like it's just so one of them can get out once I die._

_Asriel was also very happy. The queen made a sweet pie. How do they grow sugarbeet or make butter down here?_   
_Actually, I don't want to know._

_It tasted better than anything I've ever eaten. On the surface I had to find my own food. Berries get boring._

_I'm being introduced to lots of people._   
_A tortoise person, who is a just a bit older than me, didn't seem pleased. Asgore told him to stop being so rude._

_There is a lanky, skeletal monster smiling down at me._   
_I'm not sure what he is, but a huge crack runs down his face._   
_I can't understand a word he says, but he seems happy._

_I ask to go home. I'm not tired, but I don't like meeting new people._   
_Or people in general._

_Toriel fusses over me when we return. Apparently I have a tiny scrape on my knee._   
_She forces me to let her touch me. I don't want to make her angry, but I get ready to attack._

Asgore's snoring wakes me up. He's almost fallen from his throne, draped over the arm with his horns stuck into the soil. Fool. I don't need him.  
I go for a wander.  
My echo is covered over by water dripping.  
I shove an umbrella into the statue in Waterfall and sit, letting the familiar song lull me into sleep again. The nightmares are becoming more vivid, more real. At the same time, if it is a real memory then I'll gladly put up with a mild panic each time I wake. This is Chara's life, and I guess I want to know. I swallow the last of the fertilizer, trying to cling on to the fiery sensation.  
The rain rolls from the paper umbrella and makes a satisfying smack when it hits the mud.

_I had another nightmare._   
_I'm just laying here, waiting for day to come around._   
_I still haven't become used to the lack of sun._

_I went to play with some of the other children today._   
_I wasn't sure what to say._   
_They treated me with kindness._

_I'm learning the names of monster types quickly._   
_Toriel seems pleased._   
_A Temmie is not much different to a Lesser Dog._

_"Are you going to bed soon, my child?"_   
_"Yes, Mom."_   
_I didn't mean to say that. Will she be angry?_   
_Her face looks at me with bewildered happiness._

_"Did you just call me..Mother?" She smiles._   
_I step back._   
_"Well, if that would bring you happiness, my child."_

_I guess that makes Asgore my new father. I don't want to call him that. Asgore deserves a better name than_ his _title._

_I might be far from home, but down here I don't feel afraid._   
_I want to stay, and that's what I'll do._

It must be afternoon by now.  
I'm hungry. I open my eyes to be greeted with a damp fuzzy mess.  
"What the fu-"  
Asgore jumps up, puncturing the umbrella with his horn. The rain instantly chills me.  
"What the hell are you doing here?!"  
"Oh, I, um," He places the ripped parasol over me. The rain still hits me through the hole. "You were sleeping, so I sat nearby."  
His face looks much older now than in Chara's thoughts. It's odd that I've never noticed the flecks of silver in his fur, or the slight droop of his ears. My father gazes at me with regret and sadness and with a fond smile, opens his mouth again. "Sorry if I woke you, Flowey." This is progress. I'm no longer Asriel. Good.  
"You didn't."  
"Oh. Then I'm not sorry." Asgore chuckles softly. "Do you often sit here?"  
"Yes. Alone." He doesn't take the hint.  
"Don't you get lonely?"  
Yes. I'm terrified down here, with just my corrupting thoughts.  
"No."  
Asgore sits and leans against the cave wall. Without warning, he begins humming.  
The song sounds familiar.

"You have to try to sleep, my child." Mom is tucking me under my quilt. I feel sick. My head hurts. My throat hurts. I'm all prickly. It's too warm. Its too cold.  
"I can't," I croak.  
She strokes the fur on my forehead. "You'll feel better when you do, my child."  
I sigh. "Now, don't be grumpy, Asriel." She smiles and I feel myself smiling too. It's impossible to feel bad when somebody smiles at you.  
"Close your eyes. I know you're sleepy." I nod, yawn and follow her instructions.  
Mom starts humming a quiet song. It's slow and makes me feel calm. Dad likes to whistle it. I feel my eyelids growing heavier and I drift into that fuzzy boundary between dreams and reality. Like our home, between the underground and the surface.

Asgore suddenly sneezes explosively, breaking my daydream.  
"Get out of the rain, stupid."  
"Oh, it's okay."  
"Idiot."  
I surface far away from him. Stupid old fool.  
Where did they put these umbrellas anyway? I end up going the wrong way and having to backtrack. Eventually I make it, the umbrella carried in vines over ground, to where the king is sat. It took careful planning to not get it torn on cave walls. Asgore is looking lost.  
"Use this." I drop it at his feet. It's a little small, but I'm not moving again. He should be grateful  
"Thank you, my child." He looks proud and in awe at my gesture.  
"Flowey." I want to be the person he loves, but I can't. This distance will have to stay.  
"Thank you, Flowey."  
"Whatever." It makes me feel a strange warmth when he says that to me. It's not new but I have yet to identify it.  
An enormous growl sounds from Asgore's stomachs. He looks down sheepishly. "Sorry."  
"Go and get food."  
"I'm not leaving without you, Asriel." I glare and he corrects himself. "Flowey."  
"You'll starve."  
He looks down at me with confidence. "You won't let me die."  
I bark a laugh in his face. "Hah, you think?" He's irritating me, and my façade is slipping.  
"I know you're not that evil."  
If only he knew.  
"So," He continues, removing his cloak and putting it over us like a tent propped up on his horns. "Aren't you wondering how the others are?"  
He must be an idiot if he thinks I care about those fools..  
How are they?  
I just pull a face instead.  
"After you disappeared, Frisk was upset. Alphys and Toriel have been trying to get them to eat more than bread and go outside with no luck." He scratches the underside of his ear. "Undyne.. Is angry, I'm afraid. She says you'll have to face her if you ever come back." He notes my expression and adds, "But we'll all be happy to see you again."  
"They'll be wanting to see you, too." I smirk.  
"That's very true. I think they'll guess that I'm here, anyway. "  
If they go looking for their king, they'll find me. I have to get away from him.  
"Flowey, I have something to say. I'm sorry, I should have told you earlier, but.."  
Worry twists my insides. I'm not sure why, but I have a very, very bad feeling about this.  
"What?!" I snap.  
"Oh. Um. After two weeks of your absence, Sans.."  
"Sans what?!"  
If he doesn't finish soon I'll-  
"He told me. Everything." Asgore looks at the ground guilty.  
No. No. He couldn't.  
Not after all this time? I didn't do anything this time! What happens now..? If that freak really did tell Asgore..  
I'll never be accepted.  
Like I need them! They'd never care about someone like me, would they?!  
Swirling red tints the edges of my vision. I wish I had my magic. I'd teach them all a lesson, I'll show them what they have to fear!  
I'm shivering. My teeth are rattling.  
"What did that smiley trashbag tell you?!"  
Asgore takes in the situation slowly. Looking into my furious eyes, his own gaze melts. "That you've killed us all hundreds of times."  
He doesn't mince words, does he?  
"I'd do it again," I hiss. Maybe I would.  
"Do you know what I told Sans?"  
"I don't care!" I move further away.  
"I told him that it didn't matter."  
What is he saying?! The old fool must be growing senile. Either that, or he's just trying to get me up so they can kill me.  
"I told him it doesn't make a difference what you've done. The way I see it, Flowey, is..if you've reset so many times just to kill us, then now, on this one you don't..That's admirable of you. And it shows us that you want to change." He smiles, his hazel eyes glistening. "Wouldn't you say so?" He has an air of smugness about him.  
No. Why isn't he angry? He should be mad! He should kill me!  
But Asgore's just sitting there, smiling and tearing up like a soft imbecile.  
He's right. I tried to not be merciless this time. I want so bad to feel again, and even this run was a disappointment.  
I want to change. I might not understand it anymore, but I miss the person Asriel was. He could do anything. He understood everybody. He brought people little gifts for no reason, which is nice but pointless, so why am I annoyed that I'm not as good?! Being kind is pointless!  
A noise brings me back to the present. My own whimpering.  
"Now," Asgore extends an open paw. "Shall we go back up?"  
He's a sneaky one, that king. I need to watch out for this next time.  
I came back to avoid the humankind that hurt my sister.  
I guess I'll return with our father.


End file.
